confused

Resolution

2012-01-22T22:26:00.000+08:00

There is no coincidence in Islam.
There are too much instances in my life that truly testify in the above statement.

Quite a few things have been happening in my life.
i was brought up independantly.
i learn things the hard way, i wasnt really guided as a child.

my parents dont call on me whenever im still not home even after 10pm,
during my secondary school days.
they dont lecture me when i dont clean my room/house.
they dont nag at me when i dont do my prayers.
they dont scold me when i dont study.

i learn by making mistakes.
i learn from other people.

at such a vulnerable age when i can be so easily
influenced to do the wrong things, why didnt i?
why wasnt i a rebel?

last year, i experienced closeness.
yes. im actually afraid of that.
i became close to my 4life family.
i learn how to bond.

this year, i learn to be strong.
if ive never known how strong i can be,
this year i will find out.
this is also the year i will learn how to express love to my family.

Allah has let me practice,expressing love to my 4life family first
and now i can show to my parents and my siblings.

my family has gone through alot.
some things i would never say.
but from these things i learn.
i learn how unappreciative ive been towards my parent my WHOLE life.
i learn how blind i was towards my parents needs
i learn how proud they were of me.
i also learn how never to give up.
in these events, i learn how strong my brother was and how much burden he carried when it should have been me.
most importantly, i learn to change myself.

This year will be a year of change.
a year i will start being a better person.
spending more time caring for my parents.
spending more time, overcoming my fears.
spending more time learning about Islam.

Spending more time in 4life, because 4life has taught me all these.
it has taught me positivity, it has taught me patience.
Many things happened that was due to 4life.
it is like a catalyst that causes good chain of events.

i hope everyone will benefit from 4life.
its not about the business, its not about the product, its not about the company.
(although everything about it is amazing beyond comparison)
its about how you can use this to change your life.

old saying

2011-12-15T21:01:00.000+08:00

As the old saying goes:
What goes up, must come down.

Barely a week ago i had one of the best time of my life
and now, i sense depression creeping up on me,
juz waiting to crash my life down again.
i can feel it coming and i have no barriers prepared.
i dun think ive felt this down in such a long time.
sigh.

Happie Halloween

2011-10-30T21:06:00.000+08:00

a lot of things haf been gg thru my mind lately.
but nothing has been jotted down.
i miss those days.
days tt i would doodle, write on my diary.

i still keep my past diaries and when i read back,
i laughed to myself, and sometimes im amazed by how much depth
my thoughts have back then.
now i juz dun think anymore.
i have succumb to the daily busy life of a human.
ive become something ive always wanted to be back then.
a robot.

and then it made me realise again.
what was my dream in life?
at one time it was a professor. haha
funny but true...yeah.

i love sharing knowledge, but i realised i simply do not have the
attention span to study full time neither do i have the patience to teach.

then it brought to another chain of thoughts.
why do i want to study?
why do i wanna get a degree??
a paper qualification?

ive oways loved knowledge.
but i realised getting education is super expensive.
my ultimate goal was psychology.
but many has said "whats the point of pursing a degree that doesnt put food on ur table in the future?"
yes, i dun want to be a psychologist. i juz love to read and understand how or why people do the things they do.
but since a degree is soooo expensive, u'd hafta make sure its gonna give u back ur money.

is education now a mere investment?
what happen to the "education for knowledge"?
i think greed has corrupted the idea of learning for self improvement.
now, its juz learning how to be rich and flaunt ur money to everyone :P

ok, on the lighter side, i had fun on Halloween!
i know i dun usually review events anymore...
but oh well.... once in a while, why not...
i love de fact tt my besties didnt give up on getting my black wings.
we almost went the entire bugis village but there ws none
i was truly disappointed and i really lost hope,
but their energy really lifted me.
also muz thank vincy for dropping by bugis, for literally stopping the car by the roadside juz to let me c if that last glimpse of hope is still available.

i also love the fact tt vincy was so accomodating to everyone.

HE was the one suggesting to get his company van to drive us all there and back.
HE wanted to join and dress up.
and apparently, HE managed to entertain himself by scaring strangers with his amateur ghost look.
there were ppl actually wanting to take photos WITH him!! hahaha
he is,like, one of DE BEST and most craziest person i know!
and tt is why HES MY BEST FRIEND!
i juz cant imagine my life without him
my life is so complete!!

My Journey Thus Far

2011-10-03T13:27:00.000+08:00

Hmm....
I realised ive always been unreceptive
towards my career prospect.
No matter how hard or easy it has been.

If i had not been werking in Eng Wah,
i would always be that shy awkward kid whos totally afraid of people
If i have nt been werking in Seagate factory,
i would not have pursued my Nitec in Electronics.
If i had not pursued my Nitec, i wouldnt haf been able to apply for Diploma in SIM.
If i had not choosen Green Book as my first company under a new job scope called admin cum recep,
i noe, i wouldnt be given an opportunity to be a customer service exec.
no matter how difficult the first few months in a new line was, i persevered.
altho it was shortlived (almost 2 yrs), it was still sufficient.

i quit without looking for a job first.
i tried a few things.
admin in an auto insurance company, personal coordinator for a property agent...
and finally, patient services clerk in sgh.

if i had not took up the property agent's offer to be his so called personal asst,
i wouldnt have the experience of being one.
altho i didnt like it and therefore shortlived too, i still think i gained something.
if i had not any of the experience about, i wouldnt have gotten the job at SGH.
i initially applied for data clerk, but the person persuaded me to go psc coz of my exp in frontline.
and i relented.

there seems to be a pattern in recent jobs i was offered.
i keep kena-ing customer service. the one i hated the most.lol....
why cant i juz get a damn behind-the-frontline kind of job??

3 places that i werked in has offered me great prospects.
Seagate had appointed me to be the online job trainer (which i readily accepted)
Green Book offered me to be Customer Service Exec (which i rejected after doing it almost a yr)
SGH given me the job as Research Coordinator (thanks to my bosses' recommendation)

was there any reason to this?

i think yes.
Every time God paves me the way, i sidetracked or stopped
im so stubborn, but hahaha
i think God is super patient to keep giving me the chances.

Yes. i think ive known wat my calling is..
If i had not worked in SGH, i wouldnt understand health.
If i had not werked in SGH, i wouldnt have been easily convinced to join 4life .
If i had not worked in SGH, i wouldnt know or even care about other ppl's health and mine.

After hearing what these 4life ppl strive for, believe in, worked for,
i know, i haf to make the difference too.
because of them, i believe in a goal.
i wanna help others too....
i wanna think of the big picture.
go overseas to help the needy.

there IS a way to stop the that grand gap btwn the rich and the poor.

Is this all coincidence?
Nope, there is no coincidence in Islam.
:)

Alhamdullilah.....

intuition

2011-09-04T22:48:00.000+08:00

yesterday my intuition went on an overdrive.
as we were driving along the roads of ang mo kio, a vision of my past ran across my head.
i remember there's this house i used to always visit when i was young but somehow stopped ever since i went sec sch. of all the years went by, it didnt occur to me except yesterday.the view from the house was very vivid. but i had no idea where this place is and how this person is related to us. i mentioned this to my cousins and sister. i simply couldnt describe the view.

and as i was reminiscing about it, i was also looking out the window. i saw a house with very bright festive lights (lampu kelap-kelip, as i used to call it, hahaha).it really stood out and i said to myself " wah, so bright sia... the whole of his corridor is colourfully lighted."

this is the funny part. lo and behold!! when i reach the house, i realised it was the EXACT same house i noticed as we were driving by!!! amazing, lol...

then as we were leaving the house, heading for another juz a block away, my bro suddenly say " we long time nvr to that brother house, the one with the star wars". i had no idea who he was refering to. i was like, which brother seh. then my mom say...ooohh.... that "abg taufik house". that name click in my brain sia. suddenly i was like " ehhh!!! yeah that house!! i was juz thinking about it, he stay very far right?? we long time nvr go seh!!" imagine my surprise when my mom say, the house is here only lor. one floor above the next hse we gg to. apparently my dad and uncle has been trying to call them to no avail, so decided to go ahead and knock on the door, try our luck.
i cant believe it!! it REALLY was the house i was thinking of. funny seh.i went over to the corridor and looked out.the exact same view i had in my mind when i was in the van earlier. im not close to the family at all... and even the auntie say she remember my name, but the last time we visited her was almost 20 yrs ago!!

then she scold my uncle and dad for losing contact. lol... she said that night, earlier, she saw 2 butterflies in her bedroom. she was wondering why. coz in the olden days, they say, when a butterfly flies into ur home, it means someone is coming to your house. mcm ader sign pulak. she was surprised to see my dad and uncle and everybody else... heheh!!

cant believe how fated we are to be there and how mindboggling it is for me to have almost seen the future. lol!!!

Top ten myths about introverts (ME!!!)

2011-08-15T17:43:00.000+08:00

Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.

Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.

Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.

Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.

Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.

Myth #7 – Introverts are weird. Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.

Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.

Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.

Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.

UGLY

2011-07-30T08:22:00.000+08:00

my theme song.
a song ive played in my mind
every breathing moment of my life.

a song ive played way before it materialises to this.
love 2ne1 tho i think they are NOWHERE near ugly.

CL] I'm trying to smile brightly but
I don't like it
I'm not pretty, I'm not beautiful
Oh oh oh oh x 2

[BOM] I'm trying to sing but
No one is listening
I'm not pretty, I'm not beautiful
Oh oh oh oh x 2

[DARA] Why am I this ugly
What must I do for me to be able to smile brightly like you?

[MINJI] I'm getting angry again, why can't I ever be perfect
I simply put the blame on my ugly appearance in this broken mirror

[BOM] Don't look at me, I hate this feeling right now
I want to hide away somewhere, I want to escape
This world is full of lies

[CL] I think I'm ugly
And nobody wants to love me
Just like her I wanna be pretty I wanna be pretty
Don't lie to my face tellin' me I'm pretty

I think I'm ugly
And nobody wants to love me
Just like her I wanna be pretty I wanna be pretty
Don't lie to my face cuz I know I'm ugly

[MINJI] Don't tell me that you can understand me so easily
My ugly and crooked heart may even come to resent you

[BOM] Don't force me to talk, I'm not right for you
The cold thorns inside that patronizing gaze suffocate me

[MINJI] Don't come closer, I don't even want your concern
I want to leave away to somewhere, I want to shout out
This world is full of lies

[CL] I think I'm ugly
And nobody wants to love me
Just like her I wanna be pretty I wanna be pretty
Don't lie to my face tellin' me I'm pretty

I think I'm ugly
And nobody wants to love me
Just like her I wanna be pretty I wanna be pretty
Don't lie to my face cuz I know I'm ugly

[DARA] All alone
I'm all alone x 2

There is no such thing as warmth
There is no one by my side

All alone
I'm all alone x 2
I'm always alone

There's no such thing as warmth
Next to my side, there's not even anyone to embrace me

[CL] I think I'm ugly
And nobody wants to love me
Just like her I wanna be pretty I wanna be prety
Don't lie to my face tellin' me I'm pretty

I think I'm ugly
And nobody wants to love me
Just like her I wanna be pretty I wanna be pretty
Don't lie to my face cuz I know I'm ugly

promises

2011-06-10T23:51:00.000+08:00

If you gain the world by trading your soul

Remember you'll reap just what you sow

There's no one left to save you now
You'll get what you deserve your own place in hell

ive promised myself :
once ive passed my exams, im gonna start learning ukelele from my awesome bro and take up basic chinese language. i know how to carry a decent chinese conversation, but i oni dare to speak to those china workers coz apparently they understand me better hahaha :P funny.

anyway, i figured it will be fun learning chinese.
i wanna mess up with people's mind when i talk in chinese and then when they ask me my name,
id tell them, then they'd be like " hey so unique... sound like malay name... u muslim ah??"
then id go sth like " im malay muslim...." " you? malay?? but u look chinese leh... can speak chinese oso... u adopt by malay family ah?" hahahhaha...
im thinking too much... or more like daydreaming toooooo much... :P

2011-05-18T20:41:00.000+08:00

Here i go again.
my mind conflicted with my surroundings..
hmm...

once again, i am in this phrase of life...
wondering why dont i have the
determination like others.
no. i do not give up.

im simply... contented.
i dun aim high...
coz i really dun feel the reason or need to.
i dun like competition coz i dun like to compare myself with others.
i really do like the way i am now.
in fact, im pretty surprised and grateful with the way things haf turned out so far, in general.

so wats bugging me?
i seriously haf no intention to earn super big bucks. i think 1500 is high enough for me
i dun even look at bags clothes shoes that are over my budget.
i dun haf a money driven lifestyle. dun want to either.
i earn little. saves up if i ever feel the need to pamper myself. enough to live by.

i dun nid a car. i dun nid awesome education.i dun want a condo.

why am i still so....
demoralised about my whole life?
everywhere i turn to,
i face people with determination.
people who wishes to be high flyer.
big dreams to being rich, successful, smart and live comfortably.

why cant they see that i AM comfortable now?
is there anyone out there tt shares my sentiment?
or am i the only one who likes it this way?
am i an underachiever?

hey, ive juz answered myself. all i need.
is to know, tt there ARE people out there who are like me.
so i wont keep justifying myself for taking the easy way out.
is that what i am doin? taking the easy way out?
gosh... theres never an end to this.

2011-03-15T23:12:00.000+08:00

haf u ever encountered those days...
when ur sudden bouts of exhaustion overwhelms u?

u juz feel like curling up in a corner, and cry..
cry cry cry until u feel like theres no more tears left,
when u juz wish u can slp forever, not wanting to face daylight
and endure another day of work, human, sch, life...everything?

then the next moment, u're juz like, meh,
its life....
?

yeah, those bouts..

frequenting me nowadays.
i feel so burned out.
i dunno.

For the rest of my life

2011-02-16T21:44:00.000+08:00

I praise Allah for sending me you my love
You found me home and sail with me
And I`m here with you
Now let me let you know
You`ve opened my heart
I was always thinking that love was wrong
But everything was changed when you came along
OOOOO
And theres a couple words I want to say

For the rest of my life
I`ll be with you
I`ll stay by your side honest and true
Till the end of my time
I`ll be loving you. loving you
For the rest of my life
Thru days and night
I`ll thank Allah for opening my eyes
Now and forever I I`ll be there for you
I know that deep in my heart
I feel so blessed when I think of you
And I ask Allah to bless all we do
You`re my wife and my friend and my strength
And I pray we`re together in jannah
Oh and now I find myself i'm feel so strong
it's Everything was changed when you came along
OOOO
And theres a couple word I want to say
For the rest of my life
I`ll be with you
I`ll stay by your side honest and true
Till the end of my time
I`ll be loving you. loving you
For the rest of my life
Thru days and night
I`ll thank Allah for opening my eyes
Now and forever I I`ll be there for you
I know that deep in my heart now that you`re here
Infront of me I strongly feel love
And I have no doubt
And I`m singing loud that I`ll love you eternally

For the rest of my life
I`ll be with you
I`ll stay by your side honest and true
Till the end of my time
I`ll be loving you.loving you
For the rest of my life
Thru days and night
I`ll thank Allah for opening my eyes
Now and forever I I`ll be there for you
I know that deep in my heart

Emily comes home from school
Grabs on to her daddy’s hand
He says baby girl what’s wrong with you

She says, please don’t make me go back there again
She says I wish there was some way to make them stop it
So he drives down to that principals office

He says I didn’t bring her up
So they could cut her down
I didn’t bring her here
So they could shut her out
I live my whole damn life
To see that little girl smile
So why are tears pouring down that sweet face
She wasn’t brought up that way

Emily’s home late again
He sees that boy drive away
But somethings different this time
She hasn’t got much to say

She said he tried but there are some things I won’t do
And through the tears she says I couldn’t do that to you
he says,

I didn’t bring you up
So he could wear you down
Take that innocent heart
And turn it inside out
I live my whole damn life to see my little girl smile
So don’t let nobody take that away
You weren’t brought up that way

The phone rings on a rainy night
Says it’s officier Tate
He said, sir there’s been an accident
You better come down here right away
A drunken driver missed an over-pass
And Emily, she’s fading fast
He says,

God I didn’t bring her up
So I could watch them lay her Down
Nearly killed me the day they put her mama in the ground
The only thing that kept me alive was that little girl’s smile
So please don’t take that away
It won’t be easy takin her today
She wasn’t brought up that way

he stands over the hospital bed
and Emily opens her eyes

blessings

2011-02-13T21:38:00.000+08:00

if i wait any longer for my bro's photos...

i'd be mouldy!

anyway... i'll skip the chalet pix and head on to other events instead..
once i get hold of his then i'll combine...

this was when i treated the ladies in my immediate family swensens.

wat u see below was the oni thing i was satisfied with... throughout the late lunch.
i think it was a ice cream in hot plate or sth... it taste as amazing as it looks.
definitely worth the money!

this was the dissapointment i was talking about. nt oni is it exp, but the food is plain as hell...
i tell u, i can get better chicken cutlet at coffeeshop! sheesh! even the coleslaw tastes like kfc's n my mom agreed lor... wat a waste of money :P their standard dropped liao... wanna come here?? go for their desserts instead.. anyway, tts what they're famous for!
\

they muz haf heard me grumbling on and on about how terrible the food was the whole time, tts why they presented me with these vouchers?? lol... i really haf no idea why they gave me these... coz im nt a member and i didnt really spend so much tt day :P but yeah... they muz haf heard me complain la...lol...so many vouchers summore... a lot of one for one....

this was during the family bowling outing. pictures of bowling didnt incld coz i look like shit! haha! :P anyway, highlight of the day was the dinner! at river valley spize... and the nearby yoghurt shop! damn nice can!!
see i did this one... nice rite? very colourful! we can choose the flavours and the toppings ourselves.. they count by grams... so u can stuff watever or as much things as u want!! awesomeness!

ugly rite??lol!! nvm la... once in a while put ugliest photo makes me grounded :D

nice pattern?? i do one, ok!! i choose peach, strawberry and chocolate!! yumzzz

the magnificent chocolate banana w vanilla ice cream prata... syiok sia!!
\

i was too darn dejected by my looks today...lol.. no la... i was tired :P

this was eons ago man.. i think during the dec hols... brought my sis to this plac... forgot where liao... some jetty place.. u can see keong nearby... fishermen getting ready to sell fishes at the mkt... see ppl fishing.... all tt stuff..

we went to qian hu to feed koi!! and longkang fishing!

turtle looks cute w its head stuck out like dat...:P

fishes we collectively caught!

see i so gungho.. got down and dirty to cathc the fishes... i caught a lot ok! compared to vincent! like 10 or sth!

these photos are coutesy of rina and ifah... the tyme we went for our chocolate buffet at fullerton hote... damn nice can! but we found out some of the cakes used pig gelatin... so quite a lot of thing we cant eat....:( sadded... but camwhore pictures made up for it!! :D and the girls of course!...

creme brule!i think tts how its spelled la...

soooo demure LOOKING!!

one taste like melted dark chocolate (my fav) and the other one taste like melted ferrero rocher... damn orgasmic!! lol...

our spread!

aiyoh... so sweet looking!

i look thin rite this one?? wahhh... wat a great optical illusion... i wish i look this thin all the time in all pix!lol...

the sea salt choccies and the choco macaroons is super nice... i cant believe i tot it wont taste nice... this was my first try and my oh my!! im surprised at how guuuuuud it tastes like!! yummeh!

my beauty ladies!

after the sinful buffet, we hit the court to burn those calories!! actually.... we were laughing and dancing more than playing the badminton!... more resting too.... but it was all in the name of fun... and health!

tts all la..... im gg to ask my bro for the chalet pix again...sigh...

another awesome week

2011-01-16T12:18:00.000+08:00

its been awesome, perfect
and i simply couldnt ask for more.

wat a better way to celebrate my birthday! Lifespa to rejuvenate my battered body. Had Herbal Back Compress and Deep Tissue body massage. All thanks to the Tangs birthday promotion!
Brought Rina along coz got companion rate, which is cheap as well!

they gave us a ginger and sweet potato soup. very nice :D and refreshing!

took this photo from google! lol.... and lomo-tized it :P

after dat, met up w/ Sharifah for dinner at Bali Thai. i didnt eat rice, but i chomped on the dishes...lol....
this is the gift from Rina and Sharifah. the scent is a mix of fruity fresh and flowery sweet. its not super strong but juz nice. it lasted the whole day :D (i wore it yesterday from morning, and when i reach hm at nite to change, the scent was still on my clothes!) its parfum, not toilette, so it lasts longer... and it has 4 bottles! one big, 2 travel pack and one miniature, all full of the perfume! awesome!!!plus one pink lip gloss. juz beautiful...

the tom yum soup i indulged in ...despite knowing im gonna have dinner w vincent afterwards ( and i had ala carte for dinner!! :P)

our crazy camwhore session! oh yeah!! most of the photos here are coutesy of Rina and Sharifah, i hold no rights.... lol.... collage done by them too!

like filming for a scene, this shot took a few takes before it was considered decent for them,lol!!
i was oredy quite kan choing to leave coz i tot the rstnt was packed w ppl...nt knowing they haf another side of the rstnt still not seated....but they insisted to get tt perfect shot for this scene! hahah... but ok la!... it was fun! cant help laughing at Sharifah's attempts... she like so awkward in the first few shots...lol.....more practice, ok, Sharifah!!

this was taken fri nite, when i met up w vincent after work. our first meal at coffeebean. altho the price was a killer, we both agreed that their chicken mushroom fusili is THE best we've tasted so far... better than Pastamania... but of course la, since the price is 9.90, almost half the price of Pastamania... i had their summer chicken salad, but forgt to take photo coz was too damn hungry, it was ok ok oni... would haf preferred to try their ceasars salad.... but ok la... its gonna be a looooongggg while before we're gonna eat there again!

this is on a sat.... super excited to go to their exhibition, would have taken more photos but their tickets doesnt show anything special, their merchandize is maaadddd expensive, so all i got is juz memories of this unforgettable exhibition :D ... we get to "investigate" 3 different crime scenes and after each scenes u get a diploma if u solve the crime. i didnt print my diploma coz it was 10 bucks a piece... crazy price, but i had them emailed the soft copy instead to my email. damn nice :D

then i get to buy and try this ice cream... it was quite nice, it melts in ur mouth :D like baby biscuits... oni nicer coz got neapolitan ice cream flavour.

this is outside the sci ctr. there were a few things we get to play ard w/ like these two chairs....to give the perception tt one person is small while the other is of a normal size...

look ma, im fllyyyiinnngggg~ hahha.... it was fun jumping on the thing(sth like trampoline) but to take a photo was super diffcult!lol :P

then we headed to the robot animal zoo.... it was juz a one doller entry, so why not!

this was supposedly under construction!

robot chameleon...

then we headed to Tuas for a drive ard. as u can tell, vincent LLURRVES Tuas...lol... then we dropped by the Jurong Hilltop located above Jurong Bird Park. the view is amazing. we had our dinner there, Indonesian food was the oni thing i could eat coz oni tt section dun sell pork :P their jap cuisine does tho, damn sad. the view from the rstnt was cool too.... the atmosphere was great the price is ok ok la... a tad ex but what do u exprect from these kind of plc rite? it was quite quiet.. maybe coz it was raining super heavy... or this plc is really ulu...lol... we were the ONI patrons there :P

had chicken rice and sambal chicken... latter dish was darn oily :P
didnt take photo coz too hungry :P

view from the topmost of the tower... a few levels above the rstnt...

we were lucky the whole day coz when we reach the hilltop it was a very very light drizzle. but once we digged into our food, the rain started pouring like nobody's biz... then when we get back to the car it was drizzling...

when we went to jurong to meet vincent's ex colleague, it wasnt raining too... until we were halfway thru our desserts at the nearby coffeeeshop. we ate and chat until itwas back to drizzling... :D

fun weekend afterall...

later in the evening me and family will head to sheng siong (or popularly known as singsong) to buy the bbq stuff.... waaahhhh... i cant wait! mite blanja my family for swensens too...long time nvr blanja them oso :P

50% visual entry

2011-01-09T18:45:00.000+08:00

has an awesome sat.
boring sun :P

anyway, here are a few of my proud purchases for the past few weeks.

i bought these in bugis. i swear to you, this cost 10 bucks. 10 BUCKS no kidding!
one of my lucky purchases... woohooo... i love it too. super comfy and danceable!

this was purchased when i went out with rina yesterday.i love the earring :D and the sony walkman was wat i've been aiming for 3 mths ago. i now have no excuses for not gg jogging round my neighbourhood :D wee...

i bought these shoes the same day i bought the 10 bucks shoes. i love this too! they're wedges heel, not so high, roundish, and wat can i say? i love pumps and mary janes!! yup2!both about 20 plus i think... almost 30 each but i think well worth it. the soles arent slippery kind too . hope this lasts on me... esp knowing me :P

today i played around with my phone's photo editor apps. not bad.... most of the photos here are edited. yup.

old old photo... juz trying... heee

my first ever haagen daaz dessert. they were quite nice. esp the strawberry sorbet and the mango. i like the brownie too :D didnt know it was so bloody exp lar... lucky gt the buy one get one free beeday treat. no more shall i go, unless i go huge bonus or sth! :P

spammers on my chatbox?

2011-01-02T19:56:00.000+08:00

there are spammers on my chatbox?
wth?? vincent say their links could be virus.

oh well.....

anyway, i haf a few resolutions in mind for 2011.
shall be short entry for this one...

hmm...

1-my first thought is i am SO going to bkk with me buddies.
2-and i really wanna participate in at least one marathon or walkathon.
3-and my volunteerism shall start by the first quarter of this yr too!!
4-i hope to finish my studies by june, so i dun haf to worry about anything.
5-i also want a proper career for me. sth i can be comfortable working
long term.
6- i wan wii coz im sick of playing computer/ being online for such long periods.
i wanna get myself the dance game so i can sweat it out while having fun!
7-i hope my family's plan to go indonesia will materialise...
8-i wanna get back to 50kg by may. yes, im giving myself 5 mths. no rush. one mth lose 1.5kg. jiayou!
9- i wanna learn sth new. be it ukelele, sing, malay dance... anything. juz as long as sth new!
10-i HAVE to start saving! i do not haf ANY savings at all. i do not want to get into financial issues in the future.

i did not document my resolution last yr i think. coz i guess i didnt make one?
but no matter, i think i did a lot of things i nvr thought i'd do. a lot of exp gained.
so all is well for 2010.

splendid time!

2011-01-02T17:55:00.000+08:00

it was a beautiful new years eve
and an awesome first day of the year!
my best frienzz surprised me with cake and present.
it was awesome guys... left me speechless... hehe!!

anyway this photo was taken quite some time, when we went to tuas i think.
the clouds were mighty scary.
scarier was the dowpour minutes after it.

nye photos after this!

@ tuas checkpt. we made a u-turn. scary rite, the wind? so strong!

and the rain storm left the visibility to almost zero!

this is in new year's eve. had lunch at arab street.
i was craving for hummus! yes!
went to amirah's grill

hibuscus juice (super sweet) and some yoghurt and milk drink (darn sweet and sour)

the hummus with pita (shockingly spicy...doesnt even look it!) bread and garlic bread

shawarma. quite nice.... lots of meat... taste like satay.. haha

the lamps/lights above us. i've always love their deco :D

then we gt lost in the bukit timah trails.... kept on drivin til we saw the bukit timah railway station.
NOT mrt but the railway. yeah. see how ulu it is?

the thing the stn master has to pull if the train has to chg tracks.

we're on m'sia land!

weee.... looks creepy!

walking in btwn the tracks :D

we headed hm ard 9 i think. and slp ard 10! u can safely say i celebrated new year in my dreamland!
but i was awaken by my sis's exclaimation abt seeing fireworks from our window :P
i went out to see a while. then went back to slp!!! hahah!

here are the ny photos... some are courtesy of rina, idir and sharifah's cam.

beeday pizza decorated by rina..lol...

me and my prezzie!!! love the photos... coz i look darn photogenic (how shameless of me..lol)

me with me ladies

this was in rex restnt after eating....i refused to take picture...:P but i like the way it turned out haha

i juz cant stop laughing at vincent's expression!

the pizza lunch! at marina barrage. :D

beautiful artpiece.

polaroids courtesy of rina...

with the powers combined, we are...the....powerpuff girls?? :P
bracelets bought by rina @ bandung :D

guess which is mine, rina's and sharifah's?? no brainer la this one :P

our bowling ball matches our outfit :D

me gleefully cutting the cake :D

love these polaroids!

couple monopoly deal

ooh! vincent's muscular.. er...arm.... yeah... hahha

me and his shoes... how come mine so koyak one???

my first EVER strike!!! i strike twice that nite. damn nice feeling lar...! but i oso go longkang a lot. i think i longkang more than the rest :P

love this collages....so nice!

i forsee awesome year ahead...esp with my loved ones :D

xmas makes me fat!!!

2010-12-24T23:25:00.001+08:00

xmas makes me fat!! its either dat or i have poor self restraints!!
omg! the temptations!
we were given log cake, amazing durian puff, and even walnut cake!!
from patients!
then the cinicians mostly gave choccies! lots of them!
merci,chocolate wafers from europe ( i think) guylian... to name a few.
fattening!!!

then on the eve we had a last min xmas potluck party at our kitchen.
it was amazing! my mom cooked chicken curry. they say nice! hehe... of course!
look at my size! :P

anyway, im super jealous la.
my bro bought my sis an ukelele.
i want one too!!! ahah... j/k.
we can share la... i think i oso wana learn ukelele la.
i wanna learn to play it so tt i can sing songs to it,
compose masterpieces out of it, post on youtube
and become the next internet sensation!
daydreaming rite, me??
dun even have THE voice, still dare dream... hahaha

but the thought of it fun la!!!
new year means new things rite??

oooh! i cant wait man! tooooo excited!
anyway, i've made my choice,
imma choose option one!!
yes!! so i can do it with rina!!
dancing may be my passion,
but i think socialising is what i need the most to built character.
:D

p/s: oh the dance was fun! i made a lot of mistakes.
sometimes too slow, sometimes damn fast.
its like i nvr dance to the rhythm..
aiyoh!! terrible sia...
but heck care la!
i was having too much fun! ahhaha :P i was mad laughing at some point while i was dancing.
i look like im on high ...blueeekkk
we were dancing to sweet dreams and wore the silver mask as pictured above.
all participants of the soc party event receive the orange tupperware!

then all the soc party attendees were given door gifts.fantastic! food was good too.
omg. i eat sooo much! i cant stoopppp... pls help!

Alhamdullilah

2010-12-21T23:19:00.000+08:00

i passed all my exams.
alhamdullilah!!!!
my appreciation for all that have been given to me
has no boundaries.
i truly think it has been nothing but miracle.

so many things tt has happen to me
which i am truly thankful for.

back to the choices.
which one shall i choose??

sigh...

another great weekend

2010-12-19T22:52:00.001+08:00

sat went out w me soc dancers for dance outfit.
it was cool. then i get to spend time w vincent.
tt was gud too.
then me and my family had our traditional yearly
drive thru orchard rd to see the xmas lights.
there are soo much happenings this year!
carol singers...a lot of performances and ppl in costumes!
its very christian oriented event i suppose. coz they sang about jesus.
like as if you're in church, listening to choirs.
yeah...

then sunday is picnic w dad's side family.
fun too.
lot of eating.
and eating.
oh! and eating too...
have i mention eating??

yup.THAT much!
we also discussed about the bday bbq event.

beeday babies wearing pink. and girls wearing flowers on their hair.
and guests wearing blue. awesome rite!!!

there's gonna be decos of blue and pink balloons...
photo cake.

best nyyerrrr.....!!!
i cant wait!

weee......

which one shall i choose??

2010-12-15T22:45:00.000+08:00

omg! i have sooo many decisions to make!!
im pretty happy with the way my 2010 has turned out so far.
halloween w awesome friends.
my first blood donation.
my many experiences w different kinds of jobs :P
my weight loss.
and 2010 has not even ended yet.
im very thankful w everything tt God has paved for me.
Alhamdullilah.

now. i've gotta choose.

my sister say there's still vacancy for the YouthInn volunteer.

one of my dance member is asking me to join her malay dance group.

and my dance choreographer is asking me to join his crew.his DANCE CREW!!!!

Dear God,
why are u giving me such difficult choices?!
which one shall i choose???
i cant possibly choose all coz i still have studies to go thru.

oh gosh!

its a bird! its a plane!! no! its a BAT!!!!

2010-12-12T21:43:00.001+08:00

i tot sunday was gonna be a mundane day for me.
NEVER would i have thought sth like this was gonna happen!.

i get to try the new mcbistro chicken burger. it was ok ok.
then i get to eat the "darn good brownie" from mccafe
(which was quite nice actually! served with hot chocolate syrup. soft brownie with sinfully lots of choccies!!)
then i was tempted to buy marshmallows and licorice at mini toons!!
i succumbed to tt temptation (unfortunately)

that was all. i tot tt was the most fun activity im gonna have for 2day.

then juz now as vincent was playing w my bro's lappie in my hse, i saw a shadow
flying around the ceiling of my hse.
i tot it was a fly, i ignored it.
when i had a second look, it was gigantic, i tot it was a butterfly, then i freaked out.
i screamed at vincent saying something is flying in my hse.
when he got a gud look, he said it was a baby bat.
imagine my reaction!! hahaha
i was like screaming almost into tears... hahah
(not scream until so loud la...)
then vincent covered me with a blanket as i got myself into a fetal position.

he grabbed another blanket, trying to cover the baby bat from flying around.
what seem like a few mins later he managed to catch it.
then he put in the shoebox at first. made me call spca and ask what we shud do to it.
the spca guy keep thinking tt we're mistaking the bird as a bat. DUH!

after a while vincent put it in the longkang fishing tank.

dun believe???

weird rite??!!
see it hanging upside down?

after a while, we went downstairs to release it. apparently bats cant fly from the ground. so vincent set it to the nearest dark tree. at first it wont move. after vincent smoked in front of it, it flew off... weeeeee......

fun rite??? vincent keep shakin his head when he saw my reactions.
hahaha... i was so scared and screamed when i first saw the bat. then when he caught it into the tank i was like a little girl jumping up and down excited as i searched for my hp, so i could take these photos... ahhaha....:P

on a super side note:
eons ago, vincent keeps pointing to the night sky/ trees and told me "there's a bat"
i nvr did believe him coz i was thinking "singapore, where got bats de?? bird i know la"
then he tell me birds dun fly at nite + birds usually glide + fly. they dun flutter their wings (which bats do)
he keeps saying " bats cant fly stable one. if u see sth flying, but flutter kind, thats a bat."
so i oways keep a look out and sometimes i DO see shadows of them, but never up close.
with God's power, HE actually made a baby bat FLY into my home! funny sia...
wat a dream come true... a great experience, but i dun wanna encounter this again.
esp if im alone. :P

three awesome days.
fri was the blood donation thing.
sat was the cycling and the repair of dilla's bike,
then today, the bat.

its been awesome.

2010-12-12T09:17:00.000+08:00

Weekends has been awesome so far.

this was the time i have to take photos for my godgrandma's event. she has this super furry cat i keep playing with and was not scared to hug it at all :P

the log cake a kind patient shared with us. sinfully yummy! from prima deli.

10 dec 2010.
my first blood donation!! now i can finally strike out one of my desires! free pen! actually i kapok one la... dunno free or not. but they nvr ask for it back... shud be ok ba.... hahaha!

the refreshment they gave me!! i gt a coupon so i choose soya milk (healthiest choice) and low sugared brownie (still not so healthy! ahahah). i mean i was after an hr session at the gym!! i wouldnt want tt effort to be wasted rite??! funnily enuf, i was NOT tired!!! after the blood donation i was not even dizzy! i can safely say i could prolly even dance after it.. altho they mentioned tt it is not advisable la... hahaha even after exercising my blood pressure is only 111/70. low rite?? :P

a cute pink bandage they put on me...

yes!! my first! and nope, it wont be my last. it wasnt as painful as i tot. seriously ppl, eyebrow threading is MUCH MUCH more painful than this. i didnt even teared. and eyebrow threading always cause me to tears.

when i got back hm, i took out the bandage. the blueblack was and still is in fact, awful!!! then i saw another blueblack on my knee. nothing related to the blood donation for the knee of course... but look like same size... hahaha... me and my accident pronessss

this was when i joined rina and dilla for a funfilled cycling nite.
the pictures are not in order :P
upon reaching pasir ris to meet them, they offered me a yoghurt ice cream :D so nice of rina!! hehe!cute rite, the shop name. so damn long! hahha...

this was actually after the cycling session. outside parkway parade i think.

taking pictures at the xmas decoration!! last time we went there it was chinese new year! and we took pictures w those too!! hahah....

at one pt of time, we were taking a breather. rina and dilla went to 7-11 to buy refreshments. while i was waiting for them at a nearby bench. im assuming bcoz of the unstable ground. dilla's bike fell down. we didnt think much of it until when it was time to cycle back, dilla realised her bike doesnt work coz the chain was loose/ dislodged from the gear thing. i gt down and dirty and tried fixing it. first time luck! i managed to fix it. HAH! im a mechanic!!! ahhaha :P my dirty hands after the jump!

this is after cycling we drop by at charco's and have 3 healthy salads!!!

the dirty hands, seee!!!???

dilla happie after bike was fixed. yay!!! dun have to walk all the way back! lol!!!.

tts all folks!

ive got my priorities straight. do you?

2010-12-02T21:55:00.000+08:00

i need.

to stop biting/picking my fingers. especially until they bleed. like this.

new shoes. i am not kidding.

that paper stuck on the soles is so not cool. ahha... but yeah. people's shoes get worn out. mine gets broken. into two parts?? lol.. i wonder how i walk sia... i muz have tiptoe a lot lol...but then again this is nothing sia. you should see my last time army boots. gets broken too! and u know how hard the soles of an army boot is!! lol...

so no. i dont want a new shoe. i NEED one! :P

sat i mite be gg longkang fishing.long time nvr play dat oredy. and on sun i have a simple photography assignment for my godgrandma. khatam Quran and nasyid thing...hmmm....

inferiority complex is not.this is

2010-11-28T23:10:00.002+08:00

i wish im pretty.
no

seriously.

i wish im pretty.

bleh day

2010-11-24T12:43:00.000+08:00

how do you juggle dance practices, exams and work??

im gg insane juz worrying about it.

altho i have to admit,
my ca results is motivating me to pass.
i imagine if i fail this sem, i may not get as good a grade as this in the next sem.

not saying i got really gud grades, but i was expecting much less.

struggling is more like it... and i have all my groupmates to thank for :D

counting my blessings one by one.
oh well, if i fail, i dun really care...sad yes, but its juz another chance.
if i pass, then its great!

pics galoreeee.....

2010-11-17T19:32:00.000+08:00

awesome noodles at downtown east...

awesome mushroom at downtown east..

cute squared donuts....

me trying to look cheeky

after curling hair at rina's...

rina's colleague's awesome hat piece... yes, this entry is all about awesomeness

the start of the 2010 halloween sentosa spooktacular...

attendees: jiesi,me.rina.ifah and boyfie, and vincent

we kinda joined rina's classmates too... join their queue!! hahah

this is before diet and after diet.. wahaha

me like biting bones... haha

cute indian ghost...

scary looking girl carrying head...

american slasher...

chinese ghost

jap ghost

can u smell the fear in meeee???

look so witchy!!

w rina n her classmatesss

playing chak2!!!

2 beautiful ladies

beautiful bunny!

i like this pic lor

i trying to slash him :P

w/ rina's classmates...

chinese vampire looks cute... with china doll make up ahhahah!

high class ang moh ghost

beautiful frame

this was in Rina's beeday... we went to chalet after the USS outing. it was pretty rushing... i reckon we'd hafta go there again!

i feeling so scared. look at the bottom!! so unstable!

quite like this photo too!

outside hershey shop..... chocolate goodness!

happy jester, lucky leprechaun and pretty princess!!!

me trying out the cleopatra hat!!

me w the birthday girl!

ending this picture galore w vincent trying to kick out the escaping skeleton! ahha

not for the faint hearted

2010-11-05T22:19:00.002+08:00

as usual, whenever vincent sends me home,
he would always smoke under my block first.
then we saw this cat lying down with his butt facing us at first.
vincent commented that something is wrong with it.
coz his body is wet, and yet he is not doing anything to keep himself warm (ie lick himself)
coz he knows that cats do not like to be wet.
i ignored him and told him maybe its not.
so he kept purring at it,
the cat purred back before he started to hiss too.
then i told him to keep quiet.
vincent insisted something is wrong.
its like the cat wanted to prove me wrong, it started to stand on its four legs.
me and vincent was DUMBFOUNDED when we saw his paw totally GONE!!
whats left was a danggling bone!

this picture is
not for the faint hearted

vincent immediately called the spca.
he took this photo while waiting for them to take it away.
the right paw was gone, the left paw looked injured too.
the bottom jaw looks almost gone.
all the bottom teeth & gums were gone.
the sad part was it kept getting nearer to vincent
as if it wanted some kind of comfort or a hug.

i kept crying (stupid me)
but i feel so sad.
i sympathize with it.
i am not made to help people lol...
or cats... i'll juz cry seeing them like dis.
we cant really tell what happened to it.
it looks like it kena run over by car. also can be from cat fight.
or worst of all, animal cruelty.
we had no idea.

we understand that it will prolly be put to slp.
i hope it will rest in peace. amin

Funny kind of weird yet not so scary but very thankful

2010-10-30T10:46:00.001+08:00

hahahhaha....

the other day(abt a month back) when i joined the meeting for the specialist outpatient clinic (soc) party,
i heard that there is gonna be a hiphop performance.and the dancers are confirmed.
in my mind i was wondering how cool it was to be dancing hiphop
and how was the dance was going to be like.
and i didnt mentioned this to anyone, of course. coz i wasnt familiar with anyone of them.

funny rite, how God plans.
coz yesterday 2 of the members approached me
asking if i wanna join the grp coz last min one of the girls had to back out.
funny riteeee??? i dun even know them sia.
God moved them to ask me.
seeing the opportunity of course i didnt say no!
hahaha... then they told me
we'll be practicing every tues and thurs
whats the amazing part?
every mon wed and fri is my schling days.
God made it perfect for me!!
tues and thurs is the oni time im free in a week!
am i excited? darn rite i am!!
its been a long time since i danced in front of an audience.
a large audience no less!!

wat a great way to know the rest of the people here better :D
plus id be dancing hiphop! my fav kind of dance.
and i'd be exercising!!
and id be boosting my confidence... yeah...

im letting out my fireworks, y'all!!!

hahha... okok too much liao. shall stop here.

halloween here i cooommmeeeeee!!! weeeee....
expect lotsa pix ok?
even if i dun look great at least i will post pix of all my beautiful friends :D

baby you're a firework!!!

2010-10-30T01:19:00.000+08:00

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
Drifting through the wind
Wanting to start again

Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
Like a house of cards
One blow from caving in

Do you ever feel already buried deep
Six feet under scream
But no one seems to hear a thing

Do you know that there's still a chance for you
Cause there's a spark in you

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gunna leave 'em fallin' down-own-own

You don't have to feel like a waste of space
You're original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow

Maybe you're reason why all the doors are closed
So you can open one that leads you to the perfect road

Like a lightning bolt, your heart will blow
And when it's time, you'll know

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gonna leave 'em fallin' down-own-own

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
It's always been inside of you, you, you
And now it's time to let it through

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gonna leave 'em goin "Oh, oh, oh!"

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon

my new fav song!! sooo inspiring!! and the music video is damn awesome laaaaaaa.......

throat infection sucks

2010-10-24T12:28:00.000+08:00

there are a few things im excited for in the coming weeks.
halloween is one!! i cant wait to take pictures and scare myself shitless.

:P

2010-10-16T22:03:00.000+08:00

this is the 6th times i've had nosebleed...
so often that its starting to be a nuisance :P

first, was when i was bathing.
i think i rubbed my nose to hard...
enough to cause nosebleed hahah :P

then weeks later i had nosebleed again,
when i was out with kim..
on the mrt summore... w/ ppl staring at me :P

then another few weeks later i bath, i kena again...
muz be i rub my nose too hard again la...

then i consulted my bro. he said nothing to worry.
if bleeding persist for 15 min then can be alarm.

then when i started working in sgh,
sumwhere mid sept i nosebleed at werk.
i suspect too cold coz the aircon tt time was super strong.

this week about few days ago i nosebleed again.
i blame the cold again...bloody aircon.

then juz now when i wash my face, i nosebleed.
AGAIN...
damn irritating leh!! i think my nose blood vessel or watever thing inside is spoiled oredy.
i keep having nosebleed since.....july or august like dat!this year!

considering my bro said there is no cause for alarm
i know i have nothing to worry.
i have no nausea, no dizziness, no feeeling of weakness or pain in any kind.
but then again... 6 times leh.
its not like bleed abit abit like poke pimple bleed like dat.

when i bath it keeps running down my face! and i keep rinsing it!
then when it happened when im not bathing, i can oni stop it by
looking funny having a roll of tissue paper stuck in my nostril...
if i lift my chin up (like what most people adviced) i'd be choking on my own
nose blood.

i wonder if i really shud be concern... anyway... i promised vincent if it happens
again within this 2 weeks, that means end of oct, i will go and consult doctor.

oh well....

(Insert emo title here)

2010-10-16T10:03:00.000+08:00

Sometimes i think im retarded.
for doing things normal people wouldnt do.
why does my brain always trips it wire?
shit.

weee

2010-10-10T17:27:00.000+08:00

im so happy la!

my friend say i look thinner and fairer now...
damn happy can!!

hehe! actually i not thin until like wat la...
but im glad im losing weight.
no easy feat lor!

and for some funny reason, i started splurging on things recently...
for thing whole week i've bought myself 5 dresses in total.
yes! crazy rite? dun worry, they are not boutique sorts.
one bought from pasar mlm, $18, three bought from little india, 2 is $10 and one $15, the last one at the john little sale for $11.90. shiok sia...
yesterday oni dress, shoes, hair band.
4 undergarments at $15 each,cheap considering its pierre cardin, mind you!
very pretty patterns summore!
oh.. retail therapy. soooo sinful.
due to this impulsive spendings, i am now left with NOTHING (!!) to spent on liao.
sigh.
nvm la... i can NOT eat... juz go home eat or tabao lor.
if i can fast, this is chicken feet!
who knows? my target weight of 50kg may reach sooner than i tot?
(dream on... its ME! who am i kidding sia :P)

reaching my goals

2010-10-01T23:46:00.000+08:00

in aug i mentioned tt i was 15kg heavier since joining gb.

guess what???

i've lost 8kg!!! woohoooo... amazing right???
all thanks to the holy month, Ramadan.

i intend to lose another 7kg, which will be my weight b4 joining gb.
but my ultimate goal is to actually be at the weight when i was the lightest, 50kg.
that is hard work, coz the first few kg is oways easy to lose coz its mostly water.
to get to 50, i hafta exercise often.

can u imagine, the torture i have to go thru juz to be 50??
i can never be thin or slim. its oways average, moderate or m size.
sigh.

so yeah, dun worry, i will never be anorexic.

2010-09-26T13:46:00.000+08:00

is it juz me?
or does this song sounds like a potential rapist theme song?

Are u ready party people are u ready ayyy
I never felt so alive like I do tonight
Said I never felt so alive like I do tonight ( u mean horny?)
look at her look at her a couple more drinks then she's ready then she all mine
Look at her look at her a couple more drinks then she's ready
then she all mine (to rape and shit?? what????)
this could be the only time I stand out the boarder line
im ready to take my chances
What I do is not a crime this would have other time
im ready to take my chances (i guess most criminals would have the same thinking?)
hey hey hey ayyyy hey hey hey ayyyyy hey ayyyyy ayyyyy oooh
I never felt so alive like I do tonight
said I never felt so alive like I do to night
look at her look at her a couple more drinks then she's ready then she all mine
look at her look at her a couple more
Drinks then she's ready then she all mine
party ppl are u ready ayyy
party ppl are u ready ayyy
this could be the only time I stand out the boarder line
im ready to take my chances
What I do is not a crime
this would have other time
im ready to take my chances

hey hey hey ayyyyy hey hey hey ayyyyy hey ayyyyyy ayyyyy ooooh
I never felt so alive like I do tonight
said I never felt so alive like I do to night
feels like once in a life time

i absolutely have no idea what the objective of these lyrics are.
nice rhythm, yes. but seriously?
would u let ur daughter go out with a man who love this song?
whatever happened to romantic cheesy love songs?
and no im not talking about :

"Come here rude boy boy can you get it up
Come here rude boy is you big enough
Take it take it, baby baby, take it take it, love me love me"

or

"Honey got a booty like pow, pow, pow
Honey got some boobies like wow, oh wow
Girl you know I’m loving your, loving your style
Check, check, check, check, check, checking you out like"

altho i have to admit there ARE amazing songs out there with great lyrics.
like taylor swift,jordin sparks,the script,plain white ts,secondhand serenade...etc.
but they arent cheesy anymore.
remember backstreet boys, westlife, code red,911?
oh the glory years of boybands and embarassing lyrics.

...

2010-09-21T20:18:00.001+08:00

yes.

id only wish you'd knew.

argh!

2010-09-03T23:38:00.000+08:00

juz bcoz i look ok doesnt mean everything is fine and dandy.
i know everyone has their problems.
so do i.
i juz wished you'd know.
what im going through.

i juz wished you'd know
i have my problems too.

i juz wished you'd know
i do have suicidal thoughts.

and even if you'd know,
i dun expect any help.

coz what im gg thru,
is the consequences of a careless person.

a person who doesnt think long term.
who only listens to his own reasons.

i've been long scarred by stupid careless
mistakes and decisions tt are not mine.

why do i have to pay for you?
why do i have to suffer bcoz of you?

i really have no mood for raya.
at all.
nothing can ever change my mind.
nothing.

to them, im juz like you.
if only they knew.

iftar + complain session

2010-08-22T09:40:00.000+08:00

had an awesome night yesterday with my ladies ( as usual)
realised we went to, like 4 different restaurants lol...
18chefs, pastamania,starbucks and mcd...
haha...
also felt like some kind of grp therapy.
with complain sessions for each for us.

(no wonder i oways feel better after every meet ups with them!!)

pictures taken and edited by rina...

Batam Trip

2010-08-14T22:48:00.000+08:00

batam trip was awesome. $123 spent on the tour was worth it.
i think i roughly spent about $180 for the whole 2 days one night.

pictures after da jump.

i totally did NOT edit the picture above at all...

can you see the blurry outline of singapore??

vincent!!

after the batam trip, i immediately made my way for Belinda's open hse cum DMS102 class gathering.

plummeting down

2010-08-09T17:46:00.000+08:00

why are u doing this?
ppl are trying to help and u reprimand them?
you know wat?
im glad i didnt help u much
and thank God i wasnt stupid enough to help u all the way.
ppl look down on you, and u dun even know.
you may be older but u are definitely not smarter.
when i try to forgive you,
you remind me why i shouldnt
i longed for the day i get the hell out of your sight.

i really wish you'd learn.
really. i wished.

2010-08-04T11:37:00.000+08:00

pictures of cik siti's bbq pix

first up, we went to buy the prezzie...
kak feza, kim, and me!

omg my face so bulat now...

fasting month nid to lose weight!
im , like, 15kg heavier now than i was 2 yrs ago!
can u imagine!
gb made me fat! darn!

2010-08-02T14:28:00.001+08:00

2 more photos from pathlight gives back! much MUCH clearer photos than those polaroids :D

Met up with the girls for mini window shopping, collect things from the travel agency, then headed for dinner and dessert.
Dessert at the PS Cafe was amazing.

http://www.pscafe.sg/hardingmenu/

we went night time :P, obvly, i took this photo from sumwhere else lol...

kim had an english breakfast tea, very the posh, i had mocca.. :D
i've oways wondered what is sugar cube and how does it look like.
i used to read a lot of enid blyton when i was young, so i was super happy when i finally saw it yesterday.
i was tempted to pop one into my mouth :P
jakun much? lol
below is the amazing southern (sth sth) chocolate pecan pie... undeniably the best of its kind :D

this is the erm... i think ultimate fudgy brownie or sth... there were ~~mushrooms~~ er... marshmallows in it...

lastly, most sinful of them all....the one and only chocolate blackout.
i figured if u really ate all of it urself, u're very likely to get blacked out. :P

ooh... look at that...chocolates aplenty..

it was almost like a mini preview of the chocolate buffet tt we are (hopefully) gg soon! :D

ooh... yummeh licious... i wanna go there again... but my fav is def the pecan pie... :D

tts it folks.... i cant wait for the cik siti's bbq pix. weeeeeee...........

wonders

2010-07-30T14:52:00.000+08:00

reArrangement

2010-07-29T13:53:00.000+08:00

sigh. the chocolate thing has to be pushed back.
maybe i'll juz go on my birthday or something.
coz it'll be next yr, when i am financially stable.

rite now, im squeezed dry.
thank God, my work starts on a fasting month.
so i dun nid to bring any money for lunch or dinner.
worry about transport money, tts all.

cant believe i was unemployed for a gud one mth plus.
and having totally no income for this month.

wat an eye opener.

wow.

oooowwwww......

2010-07-27T00:07:00.000+08:00

terrible experience at the medical check up!!

i was poked on the right arm...
couldnt draw the blood, then the uncle keep playing around with the needle's directions...
summore he was like "wah... ur veins very deep,eh(*poke in harder)... very hard to draw blood"
continues to move the needle here and there IN MY VEIN.
i held on strongly.
nvm... try the other hand.
again... poke the thing....
ALSO cannot draw!!
move here move there...
OMG!
then he took out.
then he keep staring, rubbing my top palm there...
you know juz below the knuckles there..
i ask him pain or not...
he said ok ok la... same same...
i said ok...
then a lady came by to help...
saw my two dots... and empty container...
then she poked the needle at the SAME spot as juz now, right arm...
STILL cannot!.. poke in DEEPER... prodded here and there.
i tell you. i CAN FEEL EVERY SINGLE SENSATION.
it was awful!..
i keep thinking to myself
"remember the face threading pain... that was more painful... remember face threading pain!"
i almost cried, when they finally said
"yay!! finally managed to draw blood.. good..."
i really wanted to cry sia...
it was sooooo painful.
my arm still feel the soreness... more than 6 hrs later!

what could have been only 2 jabs (one for blood, one for vaccination)
i had to endure 4 (3 painful ones) instead...

terrible terrible experience!
*faints

chocolate.delight..sky.smile

2010-07-25T22:52:00.000+08:00

For Chocolate Buffet,
Friday and Saturday - 8pm to 11pm
$38++ per pax

North CourtyardThe Fullerton Singapore
1 Fullerton Square Singapore
Singapore 049178

Tel: 6877 8129

pictures and information courtesy of http://www.sgdessert.com/2009/07/fullerton-chocolate-buffet.html

i didnt know it was gg be here..lol... i keep thinking "oh fullerton... ok"

slipped my mind tt it was THIS fullerton... the very hotel i think BSB stayed when they came here for concerts. im gg to imagine walking at the very steps they walked in. hahaha.... im a BSB freak, yeah :P

go there muz haf dresscode hor?? hhmmm...

apparently, there will be sooo much sweetness

tt you will easily be quesy/giddy/sick of the taste quickly.

and it was mentioned tt you might not be able to try all.

therefore the price is actually quite steep

even for a chocolate lover.

However, most also said that the ambience was great

and the choccies are very exquisite.

you may not be able to try all

but the taste and the whole ambience of the place

is definitely worth it.

so, i am planning to go to this place 2x!

first will be this year before puasa, next trip

will prolly be on my beeday or sth.

i cant make 2 trips in a year rite? so sinful!

oh! must mention this!.. some choccies contains liquor.

and i think if u wanna get a free flow of dessert wine, it'll cost add. $4++

i'll opt out, thanks! :D

cant wait! yipee!

things i like

2010-07-25T12:58:00.000+08:00

things i like

-bleeding candles! awesome!

dresses with laces/ those things below.... lol...

if i have a friend who owns this kind of house, i wouldnt mind hanging out there more often.it'll be too sickeningly sweet to have this as my own house,though...:P

oh! a vacation house maybe... day dreaming again.

i tell you, if im rich, i'd make a house like this and create a club called alice in wonderland.

imagine. a place to get away from stress, the real world. anyone can join! except for bootlickers and fakers maybe...hey! my club, my rules!

then we'd recreate these kinds of dresses for our ownselves in the sewing room.for what? for camwhore! of course! love those ruffles! and the pastel colours...like i said, once in a while.

if this was in red and black, i would seriously consider buying. the colours actually remind me of back to the future 2 sia.

see!! i not only love dark colours, i love bright colours too... esp pastel! but not too much tho.

too much is a bit revolting.

everything needs moderation right?

yesh... another boring sunday for me....

Alhamdullilah

2010-07-23T17:03:00.002+08:00

Alhamdullilah..

Finally found a job.
Sth very unexpected.... wait for it...
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.
.
.
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.
.
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Patient Service Clerk!
at SGH!
Haaha... a surprise indeed...
God works in mysterious ways i guess.
I'll just have to see whats in store for me.
i have enough of giving up.
maybe, in fact, i truly do not know what i want and what is best for me.
insya-Allah i will see...

Amin.

camwhoring at my best

2010-07-23T13:29:00.000+08:00

weekend at the expo...

went to the halal food fair with kim.

i tried the jap satay thing, it was very nice.

i had to try this! the only place tt sells this halal version. very soft... quite nice..

somehow reminds me of when i helped my mom to do bergedil, then i'd slipped a few potatoes in my mouth instead of smashing it with batu lesong hahah...

juz wanted to post these photos.. dun intend to write anthing actually..

i really have no idea what happen to the navy photos... keep forgetting to ask my bro fer it

aiyoh.

a gud sign, perhaps?

2010-07-21T16:32:00.001+08:00

went for an interview today.
nt for any company,
juz had a small talk with one of the recruitment consultant from recruit express.
she is sooo sweet, and looked very sincere.

while i was waiting for my time,
i noticed that they named their meeting rooms from some of the exotic islands.
there was carribean, seychilles and guess what?
SANTORINI! yesh! the very one i longed to go.
suddenly for no reason, i wished i could talk to the consultant in the santorini rm,
sth like a motivation for me lol... like a small sign from God that if i managed to go inside that room means, i MAY get to visit tt plc someday.

funny rite.it was juz one of those day dreaming thougts i had and didnt really brood on it much afterwards, until i realised much later (6 hrs later...) that haha yeah, i did went in! i was so worried about the outcome of the interview tt it left my mind tt i went to tt room!so fun!

Ahhh.....finding bliss in little things.

i knew santorini from the alexis bledel's ( Gilmore Girls) movie, sisterhood traveling pants years back.
it was nvr my intention to live the dream coz i oways tot it was impossible.
but recently, when i heard one of my friend gg to paris end of this yr, i was insanely jealous.
if she can go, why cant i right??

yeah.

wealth..what?

2010-07-19T14:10:00.000+08:00

im sick of hearing ppl bragging about their luck.
or about their successful-ness
or wealth.

everyone deserves to feel proud.
but no one deserves to hear your constant bragging
its such a ear sore.

seriously bragging is already darn irritating.
and then crticizing others and call them losers?
what the hell do you think you are?
i believe in God.
to me, your hard work is not the only one contributing to your success.
God made it happen.
im also speaking of the same God who will take back everything that He has given you.
we are mere humans.
God can do anything to destroy us.
why cant u juz be grateful and move on.
you dun wanna help the unfortunate, fine.
but name calling and backstabbing is a little too much.

once again, i am thankful tt i dun haf such friends
(my God, i really DO have the best selection of friends)
but this is happening to some of my close friends and yeah, i do have a few unfortunate distant relative like dat. worst part of all these?

friends arent usually the ones creating problems.
its family.no matter how far or distant they are, there's a few like these.
arent family supposed to support each other?
whatever the hell happened to filial piety?
amg parents, siblings,cousins, uncles and aunties?

you got wealth?

full stop

Day dreaming

2010-07-13T19:38:00.000+08:00

look at that... isnt it amazing??

http://www.travellerspoint.com/accommodation/46404-Hotel-Katerina/

only 140++ per night. wonderful view.
i've oways wanted to go here...

-sigh...

Love Ur Body

2010-07-12T17:09:00.000+08:00

-Enjo kōsai (compensated dating)

The most common connotation is that it is a form of child prostitution whereby participating girls sell their bodies in exchange for designer goods or money. However, to label enjo-kōsai by the most basic definition of prostitution whereby one attains money through the exchange of sexual acts,[1] excludes an array of other activities.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compensated_dating

i cant believe, the level girls will stoop to juz to eat at expensive restaurants or to own designer goods.
what seems like a far-fetched fact is actually right closer than you'd thought.

i know of a girl (yes, its true)
really quite pretty,
being nice and jovial to those in front of her.
behind is all different.
bad mouthing, back stabbing, name calling.
acting cute is her forte.
when i found out what she did, i was all the more disappointed.
wats the worst part?
when every one thinks she's adorable,cute and angelic.
oh boy. you have NO idea.

LUST can be a really vile thing.
it makes people lose their senses.
it makes even the most respectable men/women turn
into cheating bastards.

i can count with two hands the no of girls and boys cheating and being cheated.
WITHIN my degree of friends.
How sad is that?
and the funny part is, you will NEVER think that they're like dat.
what would you do if some of ur close friends are cheating on their partners?
what would you do if you were, unwillingly, the ONLY one who has all the access to the dirty secret things she did?
and everyone thought she's such a darling.
can we judge them by their lust?
or simply take them at face value?

And some advices =

Girls! pls do not slp with ur bf expecting them to be with you til death do you part.
once they got it, they're gone. believe me, i have seem MANY cases like this.

they may say things like, "im your bf what, im entitled to it" or "dun worry i will not run away"
or worst!!! " you muz prove your love to me".

DO NOT DO IT! Once you've lost it, you'll lose it forever.FOREVER! you cant get it back. and of course, dun forget the diseases that comes with it. if they really love you, they will wait til the wedding day. they wont force it upon you.

im sick of hearing people cheating on each other.
really, im not kidding.
i can probably create a drama with all the things tt have been going AROUND me, NOT to me.
but wait! channel 8 has already done dat.
well, nvm then.

Seriously girls, have some self respect, or dignity or something equivalent to that!

updated: status

2010-07-10T17:31:00.001+08:00

um....

yeah.

umemployed. still.

2010-07-10T00:13:00.000+08:00

"We are all alone, born alone, die alone, and -- in spite of True Romance magazines -- we shall all someday look back on our lives and see that, in spite of our company, we were alone the whole way. I do not say lonely -- at least, not all the time -- but essentially, and finally, alone. This is what makes your self-respect so important, and I don't see how you can respect yourself if you must look in the hearts and minds of others for your happiness."
— Hunter S. Thompson (The Proud Highway: Saga of a Desperate Southern Gentleman, 1955-1967)

-still, exasperately,trying to find myself.

this is why ignorance is bliss PART 1

2010-07-08T19:35:00.001+08:00

this is why ignorance is bliss.

when im not a hoarder...
and i have to live in a hoarder's world

Compulsive hoarding (or pathological hoarding or disposophobia[1]) is the excessive acquisition of possessions (and failure to use or discard them), even if the items are worthless, hazardous, or unsanitary. Compulsive hoarding impairs mobility and interferes with basic activities, including cooking, cleaning, showering, and sleeping. A person who engages in compulsive hoarding is commonly said to be a "pack rat," in reference to that animal's characteristic hoarding.

It is not clear whether compulsive hoarding is an isolated disorder, or rather a symptom of another condition, such as obsessive-compulsive disorder.[2]

The hoarder may mistakenly believe that the hoarded items are very valuable, or the hoarder may know that the accumulated items are useless, or may attach a strong personal value to items which they recognize would have little or no value to others. A hoarder of the first kind may show off a cutlery set claiming it to be made of silver and mother-of-pearl, disregarding the fact that the packaging clearly states the cutlery is made of steel and plastic. A hoarder of the second type may have a refrigerator filled with uneaten food items months past their expiration dates, but in some cases would vehemently resist any attempts from relatives to dispose of the unusable food. In other cases the hoarder will recognize the need to clean the refrigerator, but due (in part) to feelings that doing so would be an exercise in futility, and overwhelmed by the similar condition of the rest of their living space, fails to do so.

When your "friend", who assumed u dunno anything, smiled at you,
and you, pretend u really dunno anything (or really dun care), smiled back.

When you KNOW people are talking bad about you,
but u try to act blur and be nice to them.

Half of the times, people do not realise what they've done wrong.
You probably have to videotape them at one point and then show it them about one month later.
some will probably go " ya meh?? i got like dat meh?"
(despite the obvious!)
and there will definitely some who would go "i still think i'm right"
maybe a minor " you dont understand......" here and there.
but ultimately, as a friend, it is your DUTY to tell your friends off.

u dun haf to be right. but not telling off is definitely wrong.

if u've told off ur friend and if that friend doesnt seem to handle it well,
maybe u're not supposed to be friends after all.

friends care for each other.
friends dun let u ruin your life.
whatever they say, they meant well.

friends will not allow you to go about doing ur wrong ways.

if i have done something wrong, pls tell it to my face.
i trust you enough to hear it from you and not from other people's mouth.

if i have done something wrong, pls tell it to my face.
coz i treasure our friendship too much to have u leaving me for reasons i do not know.
if u treasure our friendship, u will let me know what i have done wrong.
(unless i keep making the same mistakes-despite your advices, and then complain to you... by all means, you can walk away...)

thankfully, all these do not apply to me.
but i live by this principle.
i tell my friends off coz i care for them. i dun expect them to follow my advice,
but at least they listened and know that i've tried.
and i expect them to do the same for me.

of course, i do have broken friendships.
on my part.
coz i felt that i told them off too many a times and none were listened.
listening and following is 2 different things.

and then there's that " we juz cant click coz we have too much of opposing values"

friends have many levels.

and being an anti-social, im glad i dun have many levels to handle.

i juz have best friends, friends, and 'i dun really like ur character, but if u dun hurt my feelings,im ok with anything' friends.

im a low self-esteemed, timid girl. Sometimes, i juz feel like people do not like me. a slightest hint of dislike(or ignorance) from ur body language towards me sparks off a major 'they FREAKING hate me ' fireworks in my brain and my heart.

so yeah. i may avoid you on certain days.
but tts juz coz i think u hate me.

i think some thing is wrong with me.

oh and another thing.
i may LOOK like chinese.
and when i tell you im malay,
doesnt mean i do NOT know chinese.
dun bad-mouth me anywhere within my hearing radius!
dumbass!

-and if you'll excuse me, im gg to watch Hannah Montana on okto now.

a little something behind everything

2010-07-08T16:32:00.000+08:00

Dear Toilet Singer

2010-07-06T13:37:00.003+08:00

Dear Toilet Singer,

today as i was ahem-ing,
i heard your voice again.
it was AWE.SOME.
i think its time i stop hearing u in the toilet and
start seeing you on tv.
hope u went for the auditions for the OMG thing on channel 5.

Wishing you all the best,
Your neighbourhood fan.

Yup, i was lucky today.
she was singing 'In the Middle of the Night'
and the funny part was, she would stop singing, then talk to a little girl (could be niece,daughter,sister....)
then resume singing.
then u can hear the water splashes....
she have to stay somewhere near my level.
i stay in a point block,
so the design is in such a way that the toilets faces each other.. (sth like dat)

she have that very nice jazzy kind of voice.
i cant tell much about the singer except that its a female.
anyway, this was what she was singing:

In the middle of the night
I go walking in my sleep
From the mountains of faith
To the river so deep
I must be looking for something
Something sacred I lost
But the river is wide
And its too hard to cross

MRT

2010-07-05T15:09:00.003+08:00

Mrt pet peeves:

1-When u tried to get off the escalator and then the person in front slowed down.
Its like as if the person in front is expecting some kind of grand entrance.
Wth people?! Yes, a few times i was tempted to push them forward. :P evil kid i am.

2-When exiting the mrt feels like a baby trying to push itself out of the mother’s womb
(thats as creative as i can get... no wonder im not a writer :P). There was ever once (Thank God only once!) i couldn’t get off the intended station and had to literally push myself towards the door, wait for the next station, alight, take the train BACK to my intended station :P. I always think of ways to curb this situation. But was too chicken to try it out a) wear spiked bracelets or spiked shoulder pads... so no one will dare to push me :P b) bring the big umbrella, then when its time to alight, swing the umbrella, hit their legs so i can have room to get the hell out.

oh yes! there will be blood!

rihanna looks gud in it...

3-When your back is facing the other person’s bag, and then it keeps hitting/tickling/pushing/irritate your back. Or when it hits your bag too. Or when their sleeve is tickling your arm or when their skirt is tickling your thighs/calf/knees...worst is you dun have room space to scratch the itch. :P oh the torture.

4-When you try to be nice and get to the middle of the cabin, then the train jerked and u have nothing to hold on to and u almost fell.
Dun give me that dirty looks! Im wearing short heels (as per my co’s requirement-last time la) and i cant balance with these. So dun expect me to move away from this pole!

5-Pole huggers (nuff said)

6-When the group of people is talking louder than my music.
(and you know how loud i listen to my music right? Even my ex-colleagues were afraid of the kind of volume i listen in)

Rationalisations:

One thing about mrts is that u cant exactly be angry at the commuters.

1-Have u ever timed when the doors are opened or closed? Ever one time i tried, and it was less than 5 secs. Imagine tt. Everyone wants to go home on time, everyone is tired from working, i understand the rushing the pushing. And u cant deny, town is a major work area. Its the most populated place from 8am to 6pm.EVERYONE wants to go there, and get away from there almost at the same time. So yeah, i do curse and swear sometimes, but face it, this problem can never be solved, until you decide to stay in a less crowded place, like maybe (insert deserted area here).

2-Giving seats to those who needs it more than you.
Honestly. I HATE those stompers. They make me feel soooo scared to take a seat in the mrt. Esp when i got a space at the reserved seat. I had to keep an eye for the ENTIRE journey home, in case there’ll be someone who really need that (reserved or not)seat. God forbid if i accidentally fall asleep (after a hard day at work) and then a stomper takes a photo of me for being inconsiderate. Long long ago, i also mentioned about giving seats to preggers oni to realise or scared that they are actually not?? Haha... i shall not repeat myself :P

unemployment is amazing.
the last time i wrote an essay was for an assignment.
no wonder i prefer to write short paras and insert more pictures.

man this entry is boring! too wordy!
and too much thinking!
gosh!

to infinity and beyooOooOonnnnd.....

2010-07-03T23:00:00.003+08:00

im on a quest for the perfect job for ME.
one tt does not incld TELEMARKETING.
or anything tt has to do with data CALLING.

u know... this is dangerously close to being in an infinite loop...

u cant get a job when u're depressed...
(apparently, u'll exude a certain bad/negative vibes to the universe,
and universe do NOT like to employ depressed persons)
and yet, you're depressed coz you cant find a job...

hahahaha...

so funny.

making the wrong choices

2010-06-27T19:35:00.002+08:00

i made the wrong choices
again.
i seem to like making wrong choices
esp when im in haste...
always making the wrong decisions...

1-i worked for a property agent for less thn 2 mth
2- i worked for an insurance co for about less than a week.(and dont get paid 4 it)
3-i have yet to pay for my sch fees (which is short of $200)
4-i have yet to buy my sch books (which is costing me $106)
5-i wont have enough money to top up my transport money (usually $100)
6-I AM UNEMPLOYED
7-i am demotivated and depressed.

the last 2 jobs consists of telemarketing.
and i SIMPLY HATE that.
to.the.max.
i dun understand why i hate it oso.
i dun know why i get nervous answering or making calls.

maybe im juz one who hates responsibility.
or incapable.

its already so hard to find jobs, why cant i juz love what i do,
when i cant do what i love?

again.
i am this close to jumping off the window.

I’m sorry it’s this way

2010-06-22T20:21:00.001+08:00

Miley Cyrus- Stay

Well it’s good to hear your voice
I hope you’re doing fine
And if you ever wonder
I’m lonely here tonight
Lost here in this moment
Time keeps slipping by
If I could have just one wish
I’d have you by my side

Oooohh I miss you
Oooohh I need you
And I love you more than I did before
And if today I don’t see your face
Nothing’s changed, no one can take your place
It gets harder everyday
Say you love me more than you did before
And I’m sorry it’s this way
But I’m coming home, I’ll be coming home
And if you ask me I will stay, I will stay

Well I tried to live without you
But tears fall from my eyes
I’m alone and I feel empty
I’m torn apart inside

I look up at the starts
Hoping you are doing the same
And somehow I feel closer
And I can hear you say

Oooohh I miss you
Oooohh I need you
And I love you more than I did before
And if today I don’t see your face
Nothing’s changed, no one can take your place
It gets harder everyday
Say you love me more than you did before
And I’m sorry it’s this way
But I’m coming home, I’ll be coming home
And if you ask me I will stay, I will stay, always stay

I never wanna lose you
And if I had to I would choose you
So stay, please always stay
You’re the one that I hold on to
My heart would stop without you

I love you more than I did before
And if today I don’t see your face
Nothing’s changed, no one can take your place
It gets harder everyday
Say you love me more than you did before
And I’m sorry that it’s this way
But I’m coming home, I’ll be coming home
And if you ask me I will stay, I will stay, I’ll always stay
And I love you more than I did before
And I’m sorry that it’s this way
But I’m coming home, I’ll be coming home
And if you ask I will stay, I will stay, I will stay

every rose has its thorns

2010-06-20T20:20:00.002+08:00

been listening to miley cyrus's lastest album... definitely worth buying if u ask me...

anyway...

yeah...

why dont i want to buy a LV or coach bag?
why dont i want to buy a havainas slippers?
why do i rather buy a $5 pair of slippers...
and actually have the cheek to wear it out to orchard?
why dont i feel the shame?

what the freaking hell is wrong with me?
why am i so selekeh?
why am i so comfortable without wearing makeup
and then goes all the way to jurong
when i know i look like a total loser?

why dont i want to own an itouch or iphone?

what the hell is wrong with me?

Kak Icha's Wedding plus K

2010-06-06T23:27:00.013+08:00

Ifah and Jiesi...posing with the guestbook.. looks gud rite?
done by rina and her mom!

ifah n her boyfee

the beautiful pelamin

the beautiful cupcake

not cherry on top! but ricola i think....

with rina's mom and auntie...and cousin

went to kay after dat.. the yishun one was mad expensive, but i guess to offset the awesome funishings they had...looks like a club :P

jiesi and her gift from rina and harry...kose product...eyeshadow if im nt wrng

ifah w her gift given by pictured below

a beautiful dress!!!if not fer da price, i would haf gotten one myself!

me with the leg massager thing, available in all the party world ktv rooms!one room each! so can take turns...
tts all folks!

-vincent, if u reading this, can u send me the photo of me and crystal at the science center exhibition tt time?? thanks! i wanna post here laterzzzz...

back to werk! :P

filling up my saturday

2010-06-05T14:43:00.007+08:00

selenge and selekeh.

my natural weaknesses
tt i dun mind possessing.
they prevent idiots from entering my life

i am super happy and thankful to have friends
who dun mind about my weaknesses.

random pictures coming right up....

THE.BEST.WAFFLE.EVER.PERIOD

seriously, u shd try this prima deli's waffle sandwich. i tried this at the 313 somerset and it was absolutely Heaven!

normally i dun hangout at starbucks or coffee clubs or coffeebean. tts coz im not from the upperclass... hahaha... this is a luxury. my normal blend of coffee comes from the 3-in-1 nescafe...but when i go out to study with my friends,we'll pick a spot from any one of these joints.so once in a while, indulging in a luxurious cup of coffee dun seem so sinful :D

one of the boring long saturday, i had my piggybank cracked open and started counting.$152 in total... no bad... not bad at all... you wait, europe, you juz wait! 5 more years and i can finally see you in person....

my claamate went to tokyo disneyland..
bought us chocolates... nice!

my cousin smiling at the mirror

before

after

my black parade day...

me w my new fav headphone..cant really see hahaha...

my new work desk... so plain right hahaha

wah... super random... vincent's pet, crayfish...

our trip to the pixar animation exhibition... they were awesome, and visually enticing!

vincent in ultra cool 3d glasses... hahahha

look at them! so adorable, want to slp oso muz stack up until like dat...

actually tried to take photo of the amt of salt VISIBLE on the fries.it was atrocious!
worse than McD, it was as if they had too much salt and muz get rid of it by not sprinkling it, but throwing a spoonful of it on the fries.
and the kebab... omg, it was OOZING oil like nobody biz!! i didnt haf to bite on it, the oil was already oozing out from the paper it was wrapped with. upon biting it, the great amt of it actually spilled on the plate, i tell you. terrible experience!

contemplations melancholy and black

2010-05-30T23:55:00.003+08:00

i wish there was someone out there

tt can say those 3 words to me.

i miss hearing it.

i miss having the feeling of being loved and protected officially.

but who would want

a careless, ugly plain-faced like me?

a stupid bulky thing like me dun deserve love

and i was super lucky to haf been in love and loved before.

im not supposed to complain

coz what love i used to haf,

others may have never had it before,

and some probably never will

so why am i here now,

not counting my blessed life?

mini bites

2010-05-09T22:14:00.001+08:00

A foolish man tells a woman to shut up or stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed ~ :x

some kids are pure pests!

2010-05-02T19:33:00.003+08:00

juz now me and vincent went to the timezone to play this new game about a pirate ship. it looks quite fun. while awaiting the current player to finish playing, we went on to play a shooting game beside it. well, it was fun for a while, until a SUPER pesky kid (no less than pri 4 ) started standing beside vincent, hogging to the game area of that pirate ship. it was freaking obstructing vincent's play. he elbowed the kid, the kid look then continued staying on that side. it was darn uncomfortable.NEVERMIND

then when the pirate ship game was empty me and vincent played on it. lo and behold, the fucking stupid kid (pri 4 dunno how to think? i dun think so, i was a pri 4 once, and i KNEW not to disturb ppl when playing, this kid is officially retarded...) was standing next to vincent (poor vinny), clinging to that pirate ship's side for his sad pathetic life. halfway thru the game, i lost life. vincent ask me if i wanna continue. i said yes.

so he added 2 more credits... one credit was $2. once i was brought back to life, another kid (no more than pri 4, i dunno retarded or not, u decide ok) suddenly came to my side, tell me,

"auntie, let me play, i can help you"

one thing. he called me auntie. fuck

then i said never mind i can handle this

he insisted "no! i can help you" then he comfortably sit beside and literally snatched the console from me.

i was dumbfounded. i was bullied by a freaking irritating-should-have-died-earlier-kid.

vincent saw my predicament already angry.

his oso sad story.

remember the retarded kid clinging to his pathetic life? well yeah, throughout the whole game he was telling us what to do. "shoot there, shoot here" if it was useful nevermind, it was no where near useful. irritating, yes?

when vincent saw me, i can see his eyes flaming oredy. then i told him juz go out. vincent actually didnt want to go, he still want to play. but that kid beside me was playing MY console, his arms was crossing ME! -

i pulled vincent's hands and we left. then we saw a girl went in.

there u have it. i cant believe this. we were both bullied by 2 fucking kids. our $4 gone to kids who dun deserve it.

u know where his father was? behind us, watching the whole event.

i dunno who to be angry in the first place.

me and vincent for not handling this situation well or those bloody kids.

if me and vincent were to shout and make a scene, the kids would cry and perhaps people will say WE bully them.

honestly, when i see a cocroach, i dun even dare to step on them.

its like dat. i hate them so much i dun even want to scold them

im a loser la i guess.

and those kids parents are losers too. i curse those 3 kids to have a hard life.

and this curse shall stay in my blog.

no, no matter how much they try to earn a good living, they will never get it.

or maybe i dun nid to curse them,

they were brought up so shittyly, im sure they wont have a good life.

u know why im angry?

coz it was not the first time.

last time i went to play at sweetland, when me and vincent were playing,

a kid suddenly touch the button (for scooping) and before vincent can press anything the kid press oredy. he have been there some time oredy aiming to touch the holy button.his hands was inching towards the button and when vincent fingers were away for a while he suddenly press on it. i dun remember if i smack the kid's hands but i sure will the next time (damn hard too!).

i dun understand kids these days.

if they wanna play, ask their fucking parents la.

why do we have to be the one they disturb??

too poor is it?

or is it one of the tricks tt the parents teach?

"eh i got no money to give u play, u play other people's credit la... u look so cute, the people wont scold u one, coz u kids dunno anything what... so young, so innocent, want to play no money"

parents,

if u got no money to play in arcade, let them see see can, but dun exploit this way can?CONTROL them .we all earn money the hard way. why cant u bloody scold ur children if they're being irritating?u dun teach them proper behaviour, u're sending urself to the old folks home faster than u think.

our supposedly fun sunday turns out to be a sour one all because we let these few kids to control us.i will never forget this incident and i will definitely learn my lesson.

p/s:pardon for the language, but u haf no idea how angry we were then. and this is NOT a petty problem. its juz super irritating, i dun understand why parents give birth if they cant even teach their kids well. whats up. i am so pro-abortion. if u cant do it well, dun do it! if u think it doesnt trouble u, its troubling US.stop being selfish and start thinking, or else ur kids will be retarded like those kids.

kids this generation are not like last time.

i can teach them soooooo well, and then once they're out in the world with kids like those, they could be corrupted too.

i dun understand.

there u have it.

a fore warning?

2010-05-02T10:12:00.003+08:00

Isabella adalah
Kisah cinta dua dunia
Mengapa kita berjumpa
Namun akhirnya terpisah
Siang jadi hilang
Ditelan kegelapan malam
Alam yang terpisah
Melenyapkan sebuah kisah

Terbayang lambaian mu
Salju terbakar kehangatan
Dunia dipenuhi
Warna berseri bunga cinta
Kita yang terlena
Hingga musim berubah
Mentari menyepi
Bernyalalah api cinta

* :
Dia... Isabella
Lambang cinta yang lara
Terpisah kerana
Adat yang berbeza
Cinta gugur bersama
Daun daun kekeringan

** :
Haluan hidup ku
Terpisah dengan Isabella
Tapi aku terpaksa
Demi cinta ku Isabella
Moga dibukakan
Pintu hati mu untuk ku
Akan terbentang jalan
Andainya kau setia
Oh! Isabellaa....

gist of the song:

Isabella adalah (isabella is)
Kisah cinta dua dunia (a story of love from two different world)
Mengapa kita berjumpa (why did we meet)
Namun akhirnya terpisah (if we're separated eventually)

Dia... Isabella (she is isabella)
Lambang cinta yang lara (a symbol of sad love)
Terpisah kerana (separated because)
Adat yang berbeza (of different cultures)

when i was very very young
this song was very famous.
i was one of those kids
totally infatuated with this song (up till now)...
never knew what the lyrics was about until recent years..
come to think of it,
was this a fore warning from God??
i cant believe this song has such a deep meaning to it now
esp with me and my situation.
or was i cursed from young for loving this song???

lol.... i have no idea...

Tee Vee Over Food

2010-04-23T01:20:00.002+08:00

its time i stop binge-ing on food
70% of my pay goes to snacks

i have to set a goal for myself

i want a flat screen tv
(budget = $499 -Akira oso can!)

i want the Sony Ericsson Aino phone
(juz because it has the Ain in the model name... HAH!)

i want a dvd/cd player
(any cheap brand will do...)

So Ain,

We have a lot to Achieve

*nods head...

execution of plan starts

right after i pay my sch fees... lol....
shud be able to get by end of this year

gambateh!!!!!!!

*does an awesome kungfu master 'ready-to-attack' pose

reality bytes...me

2010-04-20T00:11:00.003+08:00

as i leaf through the recruit section last sat's edition,
i felt so depressed.almost all the job positions with dip in biz studies/mgmt have things to do with liaising with customers or communicating with people.

i hate it.
thinking back, i wonder if i've made the wrong choice.
im so freaking scared of people
juz the tot of telemktg scares the crap out of me.
its like im having some sort of nervous breakdown.
or anxienty attack.
i dun even know how to say no to people
how am i gg to survive in this people-infested world?
i feel so shitty...

i feel like i juz want to drop everything. school, the current job tt i took
and run back to my sweet old comfort of factory job.
where i dun have to communicate with people much.
i dun care how much i earn.
i dun want to get married or have children.
i cant even take care of myself.
im literally in fear when im talking to people for God's sake.
how can i go on from here.
really.
how?

this is sad.
and very pathetic.

***runs to her bed and cry.......

random is awesome

2010-04-16T16:35:00.018+08:00

Random pictures.... pictures tt tickles me bones,pictures tt struck me emotionally, and of course... those meaningful ones... let me share these with you guys.

Stumbled Across Squirrel Espionage Training Facility
very cute puffer fish :D look like smiling no?

be my penguin?
angora rabbit. seriously can u see the eyes... :P

i want this necklace... me and my wants again
i want this mirror too....
and if i have a baby, im definitely gonna get me this... dare u say its not adorable?
i want this ear
why have i tot of this earlier... ingenious rite?
be surprise...very surprise
ooohhh... tt is so gangsta....
look carefully. i mean really, look carefully
another great idea...
look closely again...
this rawks!
true...true indeed
me trying to look young
me in my (as many have said) lawyer look... lol...

me in my so called indon look ahhaah....
me very the cute cuzzie, shasha...

the one i told u i wanted these shoes?? well i gt them in grey... no black... so sad..
in black tights.. works well :D
this was before i left the co. i filled up the container in chocolate m&m and it was truly well received by all my ex-colleagues... :D they helped me finish them up. so colourful rite?
the teddy can was my candy dumper... not rubbish bin ok! i was more creative than that :P i'd dump all my sweets and candies and anyone can take it :D
this was the result of a freak accident. i was holding my pen the other way around... with the tip facing my palm. i knocked the back of the pen against my table and the tip of the pen managed to poked my palm... pain lor...
see me candies??? my chocolates on the other hand, was fast depleting.
my cute dunno what... grooves to hiphop music... :D

the clip thong thing to hold the escargo shell...

in daylight u can see clearer what it looks like

benny/crystal's car.... the civic and the picnic

when we were at the sg discovery ctr

played with these... the recoil was not bad...

anyway... as of currently im unemployed... yay..

the stupid thing i mentioned earlier??
yup this was it...

stupid coz i didnt look for job then i juz quit.
to me , there will always be jobs out there.
its a matter of how choosy you are.
whether u want the kind of pay, or u want the kind of job scope.
sum times, when i hear ppl being unemployed for months on end,
i find it hard to believe. its better to get paid than no pay at all rite?
tts why i was never worried about my situation.
i could always fall back to factory job.
yeah.im simply a factory kind of girl.

but anyway, last mth or so i went to the job fair.
i approached this era booth asking about the mktg exec position.
it was only when i sat and talked with him tt i realised its juz a sales position.
i didnt want tt. funnily enough, when i told him i would much prefer an admin post. he quickly told me "you're hired" lol...
he was in need of a person to help him do some admin stuff for him.
sth like a personal asst thing.

interesting no?
had a chat with him today.
it was a very wide job scope...
so wide im quite worried i may not be able to handle all the things...
but thinking about it makes me feel like i wanna take up the challenge.
not only i will be doing the job alone, mostly away from people,
(i mite have no colleagues....coz i werk directly under him)
but i will also have total independence...
wow... nvr would i have tot of becoming someone's so called personal asst.
this would definitely be an experience for me.

quit

2010-04-09T23:45:00.002+08:00

sum times i wish i can just drop everything.
juz abruptly stop werking and schooling.
i simply do not have the motivation anymore.

i've not done my assignments yet.
didnt even touch the notes.

i dragged myself to work every single day.
my head constantly nagged at me to juz walk off and never come back.

its that bad.
i dunno what has happen to me.
sum times i wish i can be alone.
sum times i dun even want to face anyone.
so i can wallow in my own selfish weaknesses.

why is my reaction oways so different from people?
what is wrong with me?
seriously.

impossible

2010-04-04T12:45:00.006+08:00

impossible shontelle... constant repeat in my ipod.. awesome song :D
one of the best rnb songs around i think :D

step up 3! in 3D.. cant wait to step it UP!

it sucks to be inbtwn. im neither healthy nor sick.
its like my temperature is sitting on a fence.
super runny nose from yesterday, sneezes randomly, loudly.
still i managed to clean my room and iron my clothes :P
(sth i wouldnt normally do even when im healthy)
it muz have cooked my brain too :P

oh well...

watched clash of the titans and how to train your dragon...
all in good seats and good company.
and i tot it was gud.. im such a sucka for cute eyes and great special effects :D

and oh my god!! i juz found out that the girl i have been gushing over from the clash of the titans has the same beeday as me! Gemma Christina Arterton (born 12 January 1986)^[1] is an English actress. (wiki)but she was born a year later... omg she's sooooo darn pretty and glowy!

she doesnt have tt mad gorgeous super model look and maybe tt y im so in love with her. i wouldnt mind watching tt movie JUST to see her again.i love her voice her face her body her skin. im so darn envious lor...

want want want

2010-04-01T17:36:00.010+08:00

i wanna fully utilize this funky weirdy fringe tt im currently donning.

either i would go goth ala emily style or i can go all mod style...

but first up, i want these shoes!!

a lot of things i want lately :P

anyway, i've gotten the shoes, it was similar but not the same...:P

i shall take a photo... :D

went out with my bunch of cool colleagues...
to eat at popeyes and watch clash of the titans.
best thing about gg out with girls is the camwhore time.
its free, fun and the memories can totally be kept...the photos of course!

i look so dark.. yummy!

hakim trying to be romantic with rahman... ahhaha..

the all girls group..all smiley!

oooh! look at my chunky arms!!! so powderful no?
photo bombed by rahman :P
its okie, try again!
demure ladies
Amah's armpit glowing...

three headed munster!

i look darn scary lor!shud do this more often!

ah mois

grp photo!!! looks like we work for kk womens hospital like dat hahaha

can you find azali??? amah look so cool w the pose

i look super short lor!! ahhaa...like dwarf ahhaha
next post will be reena's wedding :D

Abbey Dawn Hoodie

2010-03-21T21:15:00.005+08:00

I want this... really really want this... but its so hard to get... :( sigh...

Anyway, juz wanna point out i simply hate girls who uses men for money. Such sluts dun deserve to be happy.Esp if those sluts are out to harm other relationships. but then again who cares right? men will always need women to play with and there will always be women out there who are willing to milk out from these needs. they dun even need to do anything. juz lie down there look pretty. sum times dun even need to lie down. simply bat their eyes and all the guys will swoon over them.oh the hard work.

i hate living in this contradicting world that says looks is not everything. hypocrites.

when i watch dramas, i tend to switch channels when the storyline gets worst.
but in real life u simply cant do that.
yeah. im a coward. i dun like dramas. in my life or others.
when i hear about it, a part of me dies.the more i become misanthrope.
well, if u cant beat them, you join them.
but if you cant join them either, maybe its time you leave this world.
yeah.

maybe im better off dead.
im sick of hearing shits ppl do to each other.

2010-03-19T21:07:00.025+08:00

i am soooo going to dump all pictures here in this entry regardless of WHEN the pictures were taken.
i was PESTERED constantly by that sumone to update my blog and upload all the pictures,therefore i shall entertain his persistence for now.

As long as i upload ok ba... chronological order is not of importance.

recently got call from wenny. i soooo miss her.When she suddenly laughed after i just said my 1st greeting, i asked why, she said when she hears my voice she just feel so relieved.i feel like crying sia. like no kidding. i mean she was there in melbourne with no friends to begin with (im sure she has many now! she's darn friendly!) and to suddenly be separated from friends and family, it muz be lonesome.i know i would be. considering how un-friendly and unsociable i am :P
Anyway, back to the point, she's cuming back this year! yipee!

and just see all the pictures la... some dated last yr... sad but true...
enjoy!

this was when we went to the farmway in pasir ris to see pets farms.... cute dogs and cats! we even went to a fish spa near by... we oso fed many fishes.from fish food to our leg skin...

Wei jun's boots... see??? they're made of live fish! hahaha....

my fat legs....fish... eat more eat more!!! until dun look like drumstik can??

dinner at a restaurant inside SAF Yatch Club.

benny and crystal... the kind people who paid for most of my dinner when im hanging out w them... very indebted lor!
we sneaking up on you!

some sort like a bar.. also like hotel restaurant....got one guy down there playing piano and singing

their glass of water look so classy!

alcoholic coffee... taste weird!
open concept... our table overlooking the sae... night cannot really see la.. but i think still romantic lor... couples.... u know where to go now.... lol!

some kind of omelette
mushroom pastry
top one shell or sth like dat

my first ever escargo... snail to be exact. it was in butter... so it wasnt so bad... in fact it was quite nice and addictive... ahahha... juz dun show me when it was alive... i mite puke!! :P

beautiful view rite?

the restaurant from afar

random picture of him... trying to embarass him... ahahah...
(you didnt think i was gonna put this up, did you?! shhahahah)

COOKIE monster!!!!me eating at work. daily doses of that subway cookies was what make me the way i am now. GINORMOUS!
a series of me trying to look jap... does it work?? i love low quality low pixel camera ahhaha...
i look amazingly different.

sharpening my editing skills
i was on the mrt and i took this. i was wondering if these words made any sense to you... does it?

tt time when me and vincent went to play at tpy's game store they have playstation... and other game console... we playing guitar hero... taking turns on the drum set and the guitar... fantastic
my cluttered desk... awesome rite... hardworking ppl is like dat one... ahaha

me w yensan and her friend... went to prawn fishing...

had to take with these... i look so darn happy!

when we went to... ermmm... some place in msia for picnic... the wind was so strong i was scared for a while...(big baby i may be, but remembering the disaster not long ago makes me a bit scared ok!)
her version of cute!

my adorable cousin syasya... porcelain face rite!!

kak jaja sneaking a smile!~

eating nasi hujan panas

these pictures were from xmas last year...
crown hats... i still have them!
the cool info dept... i extra oni ahhaha...

tugging the gifts from amin the santa ahahha!
loving our big santa...

that guy sitting down is our pimp... hahahaha!

this was when my family attended the boon teck reunion. meeting up with all the veteran malay actors and actress was wonderful. it was a great reunion.

atuk samsudin and anak ibrahim pendek

playing golf w him.... been a long time goal for me to go! and finally! but it was quite dizzying for me after the game as the place was soooo small it was super cramped and we were in circles just to follow the holes....

what empty eyes u haf.. you almost look sad...

my lovely cupcakes i distributed to my colleagues :D, juz to clarify, i didnt make these... :D

gong xi ni!! we all welcome the tiger year...

we're going on a hiking....

my pretty girls...
beautiful flowers to brighten ur day... too bad i didnt bring my dslr... i would have made better shots :P pretty contented with these nonetheless!!

i think this looks cute and seriously, we ALL knows one rite??? lol

its 1145pm oredy... and my eyes cant take it. long day ahead.so rest well people.

Bob Marley

2010-01-31T20:44:00.001+08:00

You may not be her first, her last, or her only.
She loved before she may love again.
But if she loves you now, what else matters?
She's not perfect, you aren't either,
and the two of you may never be perfect together
but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice,
and admit to being human and making mistakes,
hold onto her and give her the most you can.
She may not be thinking about you
every second of the day, but she will give you a part of
her that she knows you can break her heart.
So don't hurt her, don't change her, don't analyze
and don't expect more than she can give.
Smile when she maked you happy,
let her know when she makes you mad,
and miss her when she's not there.
-Bob Marley.

A Thing Called Love`

2010-01-30T06:29:00.003+08:00

How do you let go of someone you love
someone you dont hate
not angry at.
someone tt has never done majorly wrong to you?

Why does God create such a weird and cruel rule to tear us apart?
Why do we have to be of the same religion and culture before we can be 2gether in peace?
What do i want?
Why cant i make a decision and be happy about it?
Why doesnt God give me the strength to bear through this?

What happened tt day.
The things tt was said.
Did it matter?
i only wanted wat was best for you.
apparently the best wasnt me.

Should i just listen to what others say and let go of you?

Why would they say its a waste of time?
When all the time spent with you were all worth it?
Why cant i keep the only happiness in my life?
I've always knew tt we were gg to be apart some day.
why not tt day?
shouldnt i be prepared for it?

Should i beg and plead for a reunion
or should i just learn to be alone again?

Seriously, how do you let go of someone you love?