"before darkness emerged
you spoke to me
love
of love
of life
then
of death
by death you walked
by death enlightened..."
-confusedain '99

+ Dissect +

Lorelai: It was a mistake. Emily: A mistake?! You call that a mistake!? Lorelai: Well, I tried calling it "Al", but it would only answer to "mistake".

+ Me +

Longing for an eternal union

+ Desires +

+ firstly to find myself
+ 10 days trip to Europe, esp Spain
+ Santorini, Greece
+ The Chocolate Buffet at Fullerton Hotel
+ experience snow
+ Work Overseas
+ A very healthy body...and mind
+ a tv set in my bedroom
+ a lomo
+ donate blood at least once in a lifetime
+ be a volunteer

+ Things I've been said i look like +

chinese(NO.1)
japanese
taiwanese(!! lol)
phillippino
thai
myanmar
cambodian
vietnamese
indonesian(specifically, indo maid!)
malaysian
nepalese
China Chinese (NO!!!...)

+ Frenzz +

Rina + Shaz + Audrey + kak pi + affordable gadgets + Wei Jun + Yilin + faz victoria +

+ Archives +

November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
September 2010
October 2010
November 2010
December 2010
January 2011
February 2011
March 2011
May 2011
June 2011
July 2011
August 2011
September 2011
October 2011
December 2011
January 2012
October 2012
July 2013
December 2014
October 2015
February 2016
April 2016

+ Previous Posts +

i died everyday
Of Facebook statuses and diaries
I wish i have enough courage to just jump and die
Gone for too long
Change
Broken
The Mind
Resolution
old saying
Happie Halloween

+ Tagboard +

+ Linkzz +

Frenzter + deviantart + Multiply + wikipedia + youtube + aaron's studio + zamzar + failblog + blingees + entertainment + happeepill + mp3 searches + failbook +

+ Thankiezz +

[ Image (c) DeviantArt]
[ Dingbats @ Dafont]
[ Layout designed by fern*]

Wednesday, January 25, 2006
when the flames were reignited


ahhh.... finally i've realised my long childhood dreams...to watch the backstreet boys live in concert. their performance have liven up to every expectations i had, maybe even more than i had expected...~sigh...i cant believe that just their presence alone can wake the little pri 4 child in me.thankfully enough i have a supportive bf who doesnt mind being tugged ,screamed and sang to....
they played all the greatest hits as well as throwing a few songs from the never gone album...and being the old men that they were i cant believe that they can still dance very well.... my heart simply melted everytime brian's face appeared in the big screen.sucha a goofy bunch of natural entertainers... maybe i'm just being biased. but no one can deny the closeness of their bond onstage.no pretense. they always make sure they'd wave to every corners of the stage, bowed after finishing an item and try to connect to the fans every way they can...i could tell most of the audiences were an old time fan... just like me... how? when everyone in the stadium was singing along to quit playing games, as long as u love me,i want it that way...not many had memorised the lyrics to the latest album i think (including urs truly...haha!)
maybe i've never been to a concert before so i had no idea how the atmosphere was like...forgive me.but when me and my bf exited the stadium, there was almost a stampede on the road!! carpark actually...i later found out that the mob was going after the car that the bsb were in. the force of the crowd was so great u could actually feel the ground shaking....thats how big they are....but from wat i saw, they were eventually escorted out by numerous police bikes... ~sigh....
mesmerising show.... this is the first concert i've been to and it HAD to be a bsb one... ahaha.... i'm mesmerised and probably will always be.....this has gotta be the best best present i've ever got in my whole life!!!! and its my 21st bday present!!! ~sigh.... how beautiful can life get?

current music: the entirety of bsb songs

current mood:jubiliant

Wednesday, January 18, 2006
my day of gloom

i'm an imitation. a pirated version of the original masterpiece. none of my goals are of my own.my accomplishments are all mere copies of the real ideas.i dun haf any creativity. i'm just fooling everyone. nothing is uniquely me.whoopsie!!! big mistake.. maybe my UGLINESS is unique. thats right. nobody can look like me... or as monstrous .y dun i af my own identity?create things that are different?talent?where is it? i'm lost. again.why cant i just be like them? pretty? kind?sweet? talented? how do i earn confidence?i want to be straight!!! not gorgeous. just presentable... i wanna get a look that is employable... its not easy...not having the confidence and all.... crap is all i get... and crap is what i deserve....~sigh....

Sunday, January 15, 2006
rules of engagement


as yet again, i get to experience taking shots on a family gathering event... i've been blessed with such nice friends who allows me to gain experience and knowledge on events photography... i guess they trusted the fact that i could do it.....

just last month i went to a chinese wedding and saw myself in a traditional chinese tea ceremony.... i actually learn alot of the chinese customs.... thanks to my dear...being my commentator of that day...lol...

oh well... i certainly hope i'd get to enjoy more friendly offers hehe! i actually get to learn some social skills along the way... :D

current mood: pure gratification

current music: thank you- bon jovi


Friday, January 13, 2006
the importance of my existence


12 jan i celebrated my bdae...
celebrated spiritually...at last...20 years of my life i've always dreaded the day i was conceived. i mean really...why rejoice if i've always think abt death? it seems to me that everytime my bdae is coming, something bad will happen...and its not always to me but someone close...yesterday i learnt a valuable lesson or in true fact i realised something...i may not be useful, kind, sweet, pretty or sexy to others but i already am to my dearest. he thinks that my existence really changed his life....wow! and i'm not a waste of space... he was really excited abt my bdae coz it mattered to him...thank you vincent... **not trying to sound corny but he almost cried when he saw that i didnt really care abt my bdae...and i know that he's sincere...i just cant believe such ppl and situation can happen in real life...esp in mine... ahahah

current mood: in love
current song: qi li xiang-jay chou (dun understand but nice music... ahahha)

Monday, January 09, 2006
hello vagina.......?!

wat is it w/ ppl these days? calling each other some private parts? is it supposed 2 b a joke? HELLO! i'm not amused. esp w/ the asian language. its like breasts is supposed to be funny but vagina in hokkien is insulting. calling or naming ppl body parts is already considered demeaning. Are these ppl just plain stupid? damn! and look @ those ppl screaming "FUCK YOU". do they really wanna get rape by the one they were angry @? the thing is, my fellow female peers simply loves to retort this to me.i'm really sorry, but do you have a penis in the first place to be fucking around with me? and i certainly dont indulge in lesbian sexual activities. URGH! wake up ppl! maybe i shud just hide myself in the library of my own mind and not mix w/ these kinds of idiots! ARGH!!!


current mood: simply not amused
current music: walk away- franz ferdinand