"before darkness emerged
you spoke to me
love
of love
of life
then
of death
by death you walked
by death enlightened..."
-confusedain '99

+ Dissect +

Lorelai: It was a mistake. Emily: A mistake?! You call that a mistake!? Lorelai: Well, I tried calling it "Al", but it would only answer to "mistake".

+ Me +

Longing for an eternal union

+ Desires +

+ firstly to find myself
+ 10 days trip to Europe, esp Spain
+ Santorini, Greece
+ The Chocolate Buffet at Fullerton Hotel
+ experience snow
+ Work Overseas
+ A very healthy body...and mind
+ a tv set in my bedroom
+ a lomo
+ donate blood at least once in a lifetime
+ be a volunteer

+ Things I've been said i look like +

chinese(NO.1)
japanese
taiwanese(!! lol)
phillippino
thai
myanmar
cambodian
vietnamese
indonesian(specifically, indo maid!)
malaysian
nepalese
China Chinese (NO!!!...)

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Rina + Shaz + Audrey + kak pi + affordable gadgets + Wei Jun + Yilin + faz victoria +

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+ Previous Posts +

i died everyday
Of Facebook statuses and diaries
I wish i have enough courage to just jump and die
Gone for too long
Change
Broken
The Mind
Resolution
old saying
Happie Halloween

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Sunday, October 30, 2011
Happie Halloween

a lot of things haf been gg thru my mind lately.
but nothing has been jotted down.
i miss those days.
days tt i would doodle, write on my diary.

i still keep my past diaries and when i read back,
i laughed to myself, and sometimes im amazed by how much depth
my thoughts have back then.
now i juz dun think anymore.
i have succumb to the daily busy life of a human.
ive become something ive always wanted to be back then.
a robot.

and then it made me realise again.
what was my dream in life?
at one time it was a professor. haha
funny but true...yeah.

i love sharing knowledge, but i realised i simply do not have the
attention span to study full time neither do i have the patience to teach.

then it brought to another chain of thoughts.
why do i want to study?
why do i wanna get a degree??
a paper qualification?

ive oways loved knowledge.
but i realised getting education is super expensive.
my ultimate goal was psychology.
but many has said "whats the point of pursing a degree that doesnt put food on ur table in the future?"
yes, i dun want to be a psychologist. i juz love to read and understand how or why people do the things they do.
 but since a degree is soooo expensive, u'd hafta make sure its gonna give u back ur money.

is education now a mere investment?
what happen to the "education for knowledge"?
i think greed has corrupted the idea of learning for self improvement.
now, its juz learning how to be rich and flaunt ur money to everyone :P


ok, on the lighter side, i had fun on Halloween!
i know i dun usually review events anymore...
but oh well.... once in a while, why not...
i love de fact tt my besties didnt give up on getting my black wings.
we almost went the entire bugis village but there ws none
i was truly disappointed and i really lost hope,
but their energy really lifted me.
also muz thank vincy for dropping by bugis, for literally stopping the car by the roadside juz to let me c if that last glimpse of hope is still available.

i also love the fact tt vincy was so accomodating to everyone.

HE was the one suggesting to get his company van to drive us all there and back.
HE wanted to join and dress up.
and apparently, HE managed to entertain himself by scaring strangers with his amateur ghost look.
there were ppl actually wanting to take photos WITH him!! hahaha
he is,like, one of DE BEST and most craziest person i know!
and tt is why HES MY BEST FRIEND!
i juz cant imagine my life without him
my life is so complete!!


Monday, October 03, 2011
My Journey Thus Far

Hmm....
I realised ive always been unreceptive
towards my career prospect.
No matter how hard or easy it has been.

If i had not been werking in Eng Wah,
i would always be that shy awkward kid whos totally afraid of people
If i have nt been werking in Seagate factory,
i would not have pursued my Nitec in Electronics.
If i had not pursued my Nitec, i wouldnt haf been able to apply for Diploma in SIM.
If i had not choosen Green Book as my first company under a new job scope called admin cum recep,
i noe, i wouldnt be given an opportunity to be a customer service exec.
no matter how difficult the first few months in a new line was, i persevered.
altho it was shortlived (almost 2 yrs), it was still sufficient.

i quit without looking for a job first.
i tried a few things.
admin in an auto insurance company, personal coordinator for a property agent...
and finally, patient services clerk in sgh.

if i had not took up the property agent's offer to be his so called personal asst,
i wouldnt have the experience of being one.
altho i didnt like it and therefore shortlived too, i still think i gained something.
if i had not any of the experience about, i wouldnt have gotten the job at SGH.
i initially applied for data clerk, but the person persuaded me to go psc coz of my exp in frontline.
and i relented.

there seems to be a pattern in recent jobs i was offered.
i keep kena-ing customer service. the one i hated the most.lol....
why cant i juz get a damn behind-the-frontline kind of job?? 

3 places that i werked in has offered me great prospects.
Seagate had appointed me to be the online job trainer (which i readily accepted)
Green Book offered me to be Customer Service Exec (which i rejected after doing it almost a yr)
SGH given me the job as Research Coordinator (thanks to my bosses' recommendation)

was there any reason to this?

i think yes.
Every time God paves me the way, i sidetracked or stopped
im so stubborn, but hahaha
i think God is super patient to keep giving me the chances.


Yes. i think ive known wat my calling is..
If i had not worked in SGH, i wouldnt understand health.
If i had not werked in SGH, i wouldnt have been easily convinced to join 4life .
If i had not worked in SGH, i wouldnt know or even care about other ppl's health and mine.

After hearing what these 4life ppl strive for, believe in, worked for,
i know, i haf to make the difference too.
because of them, i believe in a goal.
i wanna help others too....
i wanna think of the big picture.
go overseas to help the needy.

there IS a way to stop the that grand gap btwn the rich and the poor.

Is this all coincidence?
Nope, there is no coincidence in Islam.
:)

Alhamdullilah.....