"before darkness emerged
you spoke to me
love
of love
of life
then
of death
by death you walked
by death enlightened..."
-confusedain '99

+ Dissect +

Lorelai: It was a mistake. Emily: A mistake?! You call that a mistake!? Lorelai: Well, I tried calling it "Al", but it would only answer to "mistake".

+ Me +

Longing for an eternal union

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+ firstly to find myself
+ 10 days trip to Europe, esp Spain
+ Santorini, Greece
+ The Chocolate Buffet at Fullerton Hotel
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+ A very healthy body...and mind
+ a tv set in my bedroom
+ a lomo
+ donate blood at least once in a lifetime
+ be a volunteer

+ Things I've been said i look like +

chinese(NO.1)
japanese
taiwanese(!! lol)
phillippino
thai
myanmar
cambodian
vietnamese
indonesian(specifically, indo maid!)
malaysian
nepalese
China Chinese (NO!!!...)

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+ Previous Posts +

i died everyday
Of Facebook statuses and diaries
I wish i have enough courage to just jump and die
Gone for too long
Change
Broken
The Mind
Resolution
old saying
Happie Halloween

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Saturday, December 29, 2007
looks can be deceiving



i noe its irritating....
this picture of me keeps popping out in every profile of mine.
i cant help it...
due to the fact that i have
very limited beautiful features on my face,
i decide that its the best portrait of myself i've seen so far.
i put this up on facebook.
amazing how many people checked out my profile.
disappointed that they were merely interested on how i looked.
when i put a normal pix, i'd be lucky if i even receive 10 visitors!
guys, looks can be deceiving. people always puts pictures that they feel
they look gud in.
(would u post a picture of urself, just woke up from a deep slumber with a big red pimple just popped out of your forehead?? hhmm?? hmm??)
and not many people are photogenic.... pictures on the display is for advertising only. what u receive may not look like the one displayed.
and they say looks dun matter.
huh! contradictions,contradictions!!
why dont i put a picture of my ugly self then, you asked?
coz i enjoy contradicting myself.
besides, its fun to see all those guys that might be interested in me.
i wonder how they would react if they see me in real life.
"aarrgghh!!"

and no, i'm not flirting around. vincent's heart is still with me,i shall hold it oh so tight. but argh... people.... i'm just not interested in knowing/befriending guys that have absolutely nothing in common with me!!!!

Sunday, December 23, 2007
ikin's engagement...

cik rashid's family



the guys cousins



gathering of the cousins...
(l-r)fadilah,nabila,adi,ariffin,aiman,khairul,shikin,nas,anuar,amalina,ain. missing persons udin,khadijah,kamaliah,muhd,mustafa,ariff,fatimah,dawama.




cik lukman's family



my family



cik nubli's family



the gifts from the guy side



my family on my father's side



ikin and her fiance`



my mom,my sis and ikin



me and ikin(i looks so shrunken and shagged... gosh!)



ikin with he parents's own wedding photo @ the background



my couz got engaged today...
its also a day of catching up among my family
coz its been a long time since we actually chatted
(yeah... mostly me coz i'm always werking and i missed alot during
the raya times as i dun visit their houses anymore.... shame on me! :P)
but it was fun... okie.... i realised how lame we all can get.
apparently we love those tricky questions with lame answers...
we laughed a lot :P
maybe its about we get together again...
that is, if i can squeeze some free time.... :P
oh well...
i miss our younger daes...

Saturday, December 15, 2007
paolo coelho

the story of the pencil

a boy was watching his grandmother write a letter.
at one point, he asked:

'are you writing a story about what we've done?is it a story about me?'

his grandmother stopped writing her letter and said to her grandson:

'i am writing about you,actually,but more important than the words is the pencil i'm using.i hope you will be like this pencil when you grow up.'

intrigued,the boy looked at the pencil.it didnt seem very special.
'but its just like any pencil i've ever seen!'

'that depends on how you look at things.it has five qualities which,if u manage to hang on to them,will make you a person who is always at peace with the world.

'first quality:you are capable of great things,but you must never forget there is a hand guiding your steps.we call that hand God, and he always guides us according to his will.

'second quality: now and then,i have to stop writing and use a sharpener.that makes the pencil suffer a little, but afterwards,he's much sharper.so you,too,must learn to bear certain pains and sorrows,because they will make u a better person.

'third quality:the pencil always allow us to use an eraser to rub out any mistakes. this means that correcting something we did is not necessarily a bad thing; it helps to keep us on the road to justice.

'fourth quality: what really matters in a pencil is not its wooden exterior,but the graphite inside.so always pay attention to what is happening inside you.

'finally,the pencil's fifth quality: it always leaves a mark.in just the same way,you should know that everything you do in life will leave a mark,so try to be concious of that in your every action'.

this is an excerpt from the book 'like the flowing river' by paolo coelho. its a collection of short stories and this is one of my fav...i'll post another fav of mine next time. please read and contemplate on what i've painstakingly typed in this entry. copy it and then print it out, forward it to your friends, anything.... coz i think these words can sometimes make a difference in someone's life....thank you paolo, for that inspirational piece....hee....

lastly, these are the pix from our thurs supasta moment haha!!i personally think i had more fun taking pix then actually singing! :P i know i dun look gud... gosh... do we all love to ham it up or what?

rina and her most gangsta face


cheers to our friendship!


our dance pose


makings of a hip hop crew...not! haha!


ifah making her best pimp face


then there's my rapper face...this picture seem so crude somehow...with rina faceout of the picture... haha... it would have looked gud tho...


getting ready for a crazy performance




me and rina and our gifts










Friday, December 14, 2007
supastazzzz

Glitter Photos
[Glitterfy.com - *Glitter Photos*]


me n my homies, y'all!

Saturday, December 08, 2007
curLzzzzz

i so want curlie hair next year!!!
i'm tired of looking the same for the past few years oredy...
i nid to get back to my old groove...
the ever changing me...

so here's an idea of what i picture my hair to be...





if u're wondering why its so blurred up and who she is, here's the link...
i kinda print screened her music video.its taylor swift... an up and coming country's(!!) new singer... aint she pretty or what... here's the deal...i wont wanna dye it blond... but look at her awesome curls...~sigh....the song's called our song by the way ; )


Saturday, December 01, 2007
unbreakable




my support for them is unbreakable too,it seems. i miss singing along to their catchy tunes. that fateful dae when me and my friend reaslised we were listening to their latest cd on our mp3 @ the same time, i squeaked like a teen!!!i remember being excited over them!! haha!!! sweet memories.

i cant do a review coz it'll be utterly one-sided(dun blame me, i was a fanatic and remnants still hides in the crevices of my soul)
but i simply have to mention those few that are stuck in my brain!(great beats, super catchy!)

~something that i already know(i know...i know... i know...)
~one in a million
~any other way
~everything but mine
~treat me right(JC's songwriting with bsb's vocals... what a dream!)

ok... i know i'm supposed to mention a few but hell, i really dig this album...
i'm listening to them as i'm typing this. unmistakable is so haunting... so dreamy... so wowie... i even love the ballads that they were doing....the lyrics gets better... so relatable!! unsuspecting sunday afternoon's gud too!!! it brings out their vocal prowess.... i know some of the titles are corny....the songs are anything but!!


i was reading over my poetry from the yesteryears. i seem to have lost my touch. either that od my creative juices dries itself up. not that i've tried writing any but i dun feel so... intense...as i used to.there would be an occasional work but hen thats it.i dun hold a notebook anymore.i let my thoughts drift away.it would be there, then it would be gone.none inked.maybe i had wanted it this way. i dun know.i cant remember.none inked.

and remember people..... unbreakable..... try it... it might surprise u....