"before darkness emerged
you spoke to me
love
of love
of life
then
of death
by death you walked
by death enlightened..."
-confusedain '99

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Lorelai: It was a mistake. Emily: A mistake?! You call that a mistake!? Lorelai: Well, I tried calling it "Al", but it would only answer to "mistake".

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Sunday, May 30, 2010
contemplations melancholy and black


i wish there was someone out there

tt can say those 3 words to me.


i miss hearing it.

i miss having the feeling of being loved and protected officially.


but who would want

a careless, ugly plain-faced like me?

a stupid bulky thing like me dun deserve love

and i was super lucky to haf been in love and loved before.


im not supposed to complain

coz what love i used to haf,

others may have never had it before,

and some probably never will


so why am i here now,

not counting my blessed life?



Sunday, May 09, 2010
mini bites

A foolish man tells a woman to shut up or stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed ~ :x

Sunday, May 02, 2010
some kids are pure pests!














juz now me and vincent went to the timezone to play this new game about a pirate ship. it looks quite fun. while awaiting the current player to finish playing, we went on to play a shooting game beside it. well, it was fun for a while, until a SUPER pesky kid (no less than pri 4 ) started standing beside vincent, hogging to the game area of that pirate ship. it was freaking obstructing vincent's play. he elbowed the kid, the kid look then continued staying on that side. it was darn uncomfortable.NEVERMIND
then when the pirate ship game was empty me and vincent played on it. lo and behold, the fucking stupid kid (pri 4 dunno how to think? i dun think so, i was a pri 4 once, and i KNEW not to disturb ppl when playing, this kid is officially retarded...) was standing next to vincent (poor vinny), clinging to that pirate ship's side for his sad pathetic life. halfway thru the game, i lost life. vincent ask me if i wanna continue. i said yes.
so he added 2 more credits... one credit was $2. once i was brought back to life, another kid (no more than pri 4, i dunno retarded or not, u decide ok) suddenly came to my side, tell me,
"auntie, let me play, i can help you"
one thing. he called me auntie. fuck
then i said never mind i can handle this
he insisted "no! i can help you" then he comfortably sit beside and literally snatched the console from me.
i was dumbfounded. i was bullied by a freaking irritating-should-have-died-earlier-kid.
vincent saw my predicament already angry.
his oso sad story.
remember the retarded kid clinging to his pathetic life? well yeah, throughout the whole game he was telling us what to do. "shoot there, shoot here" if it was useful nevermind, it was no where near useful. irritating, yes?
when vincent saw me, i can see his eyes flaming oredy. then i told him juz go out. vincent actually didnt want to go, he still want to play. but that kid beside me was playing MY console, his arms was crossing ME! -
i pulled vincent's hands and we left. then we saw a girl went in.
there u have it. i cant believe this. we were both bullied by 2 fucking kids. our $4 gone to kids who dun deserve it.
u know where his father was? behind us, watching the whole event.
i dunno who to be angry in the first place.
me and vincent for not handling this situation well or those bloody kids.
if me and vincent were to shout and make a scene, the kids would cry and perhaps people will say WE bully them.
honestly, when i see a cocroach, i dun even dare to step on them.
its like dat. i hate them so much i dun even want to scold them
im a loser la i guess.
and those kids parents are losers too. i curse those 3 kids to have a hard life.
and this curse shall stay in my blog.
no, no matter how much they try to earn a good living, they will never get it.
or maybe i dun nid to curse them,
they were brought up so shittyly, im sure they wont have a good life.
u know why im angry?
coz it was not the first time.
last time i went to play at sweetland, when me and vincent were playing,
a kid suddenly touch the button (for scooping) and before vincent can press anything the kid press oredy. he have been there some time oredy aiming to touch the holy button.his hands was inching towards the button and when vincent fingers were away for a while he suddenly press on it. i dun remember if i smack the kid's hands but i sure will the next time (damn hard too!).
i dun understand kids these days.
if they wanna play, ask their fucking parents la.
why do we have to be the one they disturb??
too poor is it?
or is it one of the tricks tt the parents teach?
"eh i got no money to give u play, u play other people's credit la... u look so cute, the people wont scold u one, coz u kids dunno anything what... so young, so innocent, want to play no money"
parents,
if u got no money to play in arcade, let them see see can, but dun exploit this way can?CONTROL them .we all earn money the hard way. why cant u bloody scold ur children if they're being irritating?u dun teach them proper behaviour, u're sending urself to the old folks home faster than u think.
our supposedly fun sunday turns out to be a sour one all because we let these few kids to control us.i will never forget this incident and i will definitely learn my lesson.
p/s:pardon for the language, but u haf no idea how angry we were then. and this is NOT a petty problem. its juz super irritating, i dun understand why parents give birth if they cant even teach their kids well. whats up. i am so pro-abortion. if u cant do it well, dun do it! if u think it doesnt trouble u, its troubling US.stop being selfish and start thinking, or else ur kids will be retarded like those kids.
kids this generation are not like last time.
i can teach them soooooo well, and then once they're out in the world with kids like those, they could be corrupted too.
i dun understand.
there u have it.


a fore warning?

Isabella adalah
Kisah cinta dua dunia
Mengapa kita berjumpa
Namun akhirnya terpisah
Siang jadi hilang
Ditelan kegelapan malam
Alam yang terpisah
Melenyapkan sebuah kisah

Terbayang lambaian mu
Salju terbakar kehangatan
Dunia dipenuhi
Warna berseri bunga cinta
Kita yang terlena
Hingga musim berubah
Mentari menyepi
Bernyalalah api cinta

* :
Dia... Isabella
Lambang cinta yang lara
Terpisah kerana
Adat yang berbeza
Cinta gugur bersama
Daun daun kekeringan

** :
Haluan hidup ku
Terpisah dengan Isabella
Tapi aku terpaksa
Demi cinta ku Isabella
Moga dibukakan
Pintu hati mu untuk ku
Akan terbentang jalan
Andainya kau setia
Oh! Isabellaa....



gist of the song:

Isabella adalah (isabella is)
Kisah cinta dua dunia (a story of love from two different world)
Mengapa kita berjumpa (why did we meet)
Namun akhirnya terpisah (if we're separated eventually)


Dia... Isabella (she is isabella)
Lambang cinta yang lara (a symbol of sad love)
Terpisah kerana (separated because)
Adat yang berbeza
(of different cultures)

when i was very very young
this song was very famous.
i was one of those kids
totally infatuated with this song (up till now)...
never knew what the lyrics was about until recent years..
come to think of it,
was this a fore warning from God??
i cant believe this song has such a deep meaning to it now
esp with me and my situation.
or was i cursed from young for loving this song???

lol.... i have no idea...