its been a day of frustration for me yesterday.

sometimes, i feel like my words are not being listened because i've proofed myself to be too STUPID tt my words are SERIOUSLY NOT WORTH listening.

then there are time when my words were being listened to but not believed.

am i really tt stupid, blur, scatterbrained,idiotic to be taken lightly?
if tt is so, why is there a nid for me to TALK at all??
why should i proof my idiocy even further right??


yesterday i was sooo anticipated to cash out my check. but my mind was full of things. i was so busy thinking of things tt when the moment i took out my check, i unconciously crossed out my check. when i realised wat i did i was soooooo darn angry with myself i broke down.
like seriously cried as if i've broken up with my boyfriend.
i was soooo darn pissed with myself.
oh well, another proof of my stupidity.

then later in the night i was excited to tell him tt i managed to MOVED a pallet which was almost ONE TON of TGB. tt is darn heavy even if i used the pallet jack skillfully, strength plays a part too, right. no matter, he kept insisted NO! ITS THE SKILL!

FINE, so im weak + stupid for not using the pallet SKILLFULLY.

fine! i cant do anything right.
then why am i wasting space right now?
why the hell am i still breathing?
why bother to live if all my life is nothing but PURE FAILURE right?
i keep on troubling ur life.
not frustrating meh?
not tired of me meh?
not sick of me meh?
arent i better off gone?
arent i?

im juz better off being a MUTE.