"before darkness emerged you spoke to me
love
of love
of life
then
of death
by death you walked
by death enlightened..."
-confusedain '99
+ Dissect +
Lorelai: It was a mistake.
Emily: A mistake?! You call that a mistake!?
Lorelai: Well, I tried calling it "Al", but it would only answer to "mistake".
+ Me +
Longing for an eternal union
+ Desires +
+ firstly to find myself
+ 10 days trip to Europe, esp Spain
+ Santorini, Greece
+ The Chocolate Buffet at Fullerton Hotel
+ experience snow
+ Work Overseas
+ A very healthy body...and mind
+ a tv set in my bedroom
+ a lomo
+ donate blood at least once in a lifetime
+ be a volunteer
+ Things I've been said i look like +
chinese(NO.1)
japanese
taiwanese(!! lol)
phillippino
thai
myanmar
cambodian
vietnamese
indonesian(specifically, indo maid!)
malaysian
nepalese
China Chinese (NO!!!...)
its personal to me,a way of expressing myself sometimes of how i view the world or things around me... its how i share my thoughts.
yesterday i think i was a bit mad...sad and mad...smad you could say i'm sure i've said before, a lot of my friends are aware of my interest in photography. alot have encouraged me...some even trusted my skills by appointing me with the duty of being their photographer for their supposedly big events (eg, weddings,ROMs,engagements) imagine how that would feel like. you, as a photographer, being thrust upon a big responsibilty (so i thought) of portraying their love for each other. in that one event, i'm supposed to compiled pictures that would one day when they look back at the photgraphs and think "wow! wasnt it a beautiful event?" "dont we look soo in love, its almost sickening?" i know my skills arent that great... super di duper amateur but it was that thought that makes me feel important somehow...
imagine..(again) if u were to found out every single couple you've taken picture of have either cheated on their spouses before or totally broken up. of the 3 i've taken of 2 broken up their engagement. maybe its juz me... a mere coincidence that only makes sense to me... so typical of human beings to make up these coincidences and then rationalising it
the last blow wasnt surprising but it was finalising that hurts i'm sure rina think i'm smad to cry over people's lovelife coz its not like i was the one that caused it but i felt involved somehow, u know? when its in the drama tv, its ok, normal perhaps, but when its so close to ur circle, u just feel... involved even though u're totally not...its like seeing statistic at werk... or statistic in reality.
since when engagement arent important? since when engagement are nothing but a compromised decision to stick 2gether til that holy matrimony? and then to break it up? if they were that important why carry it on at all in the first place? why do people always change their minds? always falling in love so easily and then succumbing to that fatal attraction? is it right? and why is it so typical of humans to look down on people who makes other decisions? is it wrong to love someone else? is it wrong to change ur mind? its love we're taking about... and marriage... its a big thing, and yet its not too coz marriage is just a certificate that binds you to another person. if u love someone else when u're oredy in a marriage, would you break the marriage or stick? would you choose love or duty? if u choose duty, u're sacrificing love over duty. so whats a marriage without love? and where's the effort of making it work? if u choose love, how would u know its not infatuation?
infidelity why does it sound so wrong, yet when u're in that position it seems normal? coz after all love conquers all, right?
this juz me, rationalising others thoughts and i know i could be wrong but i cant help it. infidelity is not common... most of my friends' marriages last but currently a lot of my friends (those of younger generation) doesnt. and its scary. our freedom of taboo has allowed us to act on our fickleness... its the new century! we dun nid to ans to anyone.
so here i am...in my most controversial topic yet... coz a lot of people have thoughts on this and theirs might be different and maybe its wrong of me to write this coz after all i've never been infidel i've never been in a bind so who am i to write all this? what gives me the right to think i could rationalise all these when i've never been in a marriage...
and yet again, i have to explain myself..... i cant help it...
yet another joyride of ours ever since we've got the car me and vincent would always explore the roads less travelled he would be the explorer and i would be the one taking pictures awesome, aint it!
yesterday we went to punggol marina (or sth like dat.. apparently, the road is still unnamed...
leaving the city and in2 the country
feel the wind oredy?
lalang...english dunno wats its called haha
lookie dat! a bridge! we're gonna cross the bridge! with this car!! and vinny dear assures me lorries uses this all da time, so its perfectly safe... of course...
wat a sight
i could have died in that ditch, people!
my ever so chubby dear!
this lead to the sea apparently... and what u're seeing is land reclaiming at werk
a place for people for fishing too! one day we're gonna picnic here, as promised by dear.
a picture taken by dear... insisting that the sand is actually super soft...
country sight
bug... so blurry coz i didnt have the macro lenses.... so sad
flowers...
blowable flowers...u know... the ones u blow and all the seeds fly all over? yeah that one... haha
dead and looking good
its a place where people dump sofas too... this was the second one we saw and at the end of the dae we saw a total of four sets!
if u dare to sit on it,it has a gud view... hee haa
gg back time...
as a child do u ever look at the clouds and see some familiar objects somehow? even now? i look at this clouds and somehow it looks like a fat man playing with his dog... did u see it?
dear really love this crossroad...
lalang hurts... makes my legs all itchy...
dear's car
see that flat peeking out from the trees? awesome, huh?
came across this webbie whereby they'd match ur photos with your celebrity look-a-likes. i've tried 3 times with 3 different pictures and oh my, am i truly disappointed! i cant look this gud!! haha! no, seriously, i'm ugly, people... pls, i'm sure there are celebrities out there who look a little like me!! the results look nothing like me, i tell you! its impossible! i'm compared to these hot babes? oh no!! i've have enuf of people pitying my looks, this is an outright insult! why do other people who've tried this really look like their supposed celebrities? where did my pictures go wrong??
and here's da random videos i found on youtube... this time, its backstreet boys themed. corny as it may sound, i'm still in love with them, despite all these years its so weird, growing up with them (kinda). yes, my music tastes has change but they really opened up my life they made me love singing, dancing,reading... cant believe they were a major influence... they were 2gether for more than 10 years... 15 years now, i think maybe thats why they're still strong up til now
enuf of ramblings, lets start laughing!!!
this was in 1993 i believe...
the song to treat me right & panic... these songs never (never, i tell you, never!!) fails to make my body sway (no kidding! i'm immune to strange stares from the public oredy!!) one of the reasons to get your unbreakable cd now..now...now!!!
these pictures were ages ago...on my bdae, to be exact, haha!i was werking on that special dae..(yeah i noe... it sucks!) dear was super sweet in bringing me the cake, happy meal and a bouquet of flowers. he presented it to me on my break.. hehe!i had to go out of my company to the nearest void deck and sat on one of the empty seats... we ate contentedly (if there's such a word!).despite the given 1 hour break, i think it was well worth every second.
he didnt buy me any presents (i dun expect anything but his love) much to almost everyone's (!!... coz i wasnt) disappointment. but he did gave me a hp much later.it was LG cheap basic phone with no cam or video. just a FM radio.it was enough fer me. its the thoughts that counts remember...altho i did lamented to him that i had wanted a cam function too.oh well...
this trailer rocks!
i am soo anticipating this movie. cant wait for it to be released in singapore... the song 'low' by t-pain is really driving me crazy...i've been getting strange stares from my colleagues for prancig around like an idiot...
and here's another take to the song low by t-pain.... danced by the teletubbies! i tot it was cute! haha!i mite try some of the moves myself, if they ever play this in the clubs... aha!
and lastly...
this is a video of a jap guy trying to pronounce some of the english words. its a game. a group of people were made to watch the video and not laugh. coz if they do, they'd be spanked on the butt, no less!it was amusing to me, but i realised people with bad english would not find this funny at all... :(
the one song that has be on a repeat in my ipod is bleeding love by leona lewis. its her voice and those words 'but i dun care what they say...i'm in love with you' that really pulled me to an abyss of melancholy.i am not heartbroken being with vincent.if anything, he made me feel like i haf a reason to be alive.its the people sourrounding me (esp those old "wise" ones) that keeps on pushing me to break up with him (and that sentence would usually inc words like 'no future', 'chinese' and 'islamic laws'...plus other depressing words i shall not get in to) the funny thing is my family has absolutely no prob with that (most prolly coz they know i wont convert or anything) its those others.nonetheless, i'm enjoying my life.with him.and they wont bring me down...
coz, i dun care what they say... i'm in love with you