"before darkness emerged
you spoke to me
love
of love
of life
then
of death
by death you walked
by death enlightened..."
-confusedain '99

+ Dissect +

Lorelai: It was a mistake. Emily: A mistake?! You call that a mistake!? Lorelai: Well, I tried calling it "Al", but it would only answer to "mistake".

+ Me +

Longing for an eternal union

+ Desires +

+ firstly to find myself
+ 10 days trip to Europe, esp Spain
+ Santorini, Greece
+ The Chocolate Buffet at Fullerton Hotel
+ experience snow
+ Work Overseas
+ A very healthy body...and mind
+ a tv set in my bedroom
+ a lomo
+ donate blood at least once in a lifetime
+ be a volunteer

+ Things I've been said i look like +

chinese(NO.1)
japanese
taiwanese(!! lol)
phillippino
thai
myanmar
cambodian
vietnamese
indonesian(specifically, indo maid!)
malaysian
nepalese
China Chinese (NO!!!...)

+ Frenzz +

Rina + Shaz + Audrey + kak pi + affordable gadgets + Wei Jun + Yilin + faz victoria +

+ Archives +

November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
September 2010
October 2010
November 2010
December 2010
January 2011
February 2011
March 2011
May 2011
June 2011
July 2011
August 2011
September 2011
October 2011
December 2011
January 2012
October 2012
July 2013
December 2014
October 2015
February 2016
April 2016

+ Previous Posts +

i died everyday
Of Facebook statuses and diaries
I wish i have enough courage to just jump and die
Gone for too long
Change
Broken
The Mind
Resolution
old saying
Happie Halloween

+ Tagboard +

+ Linkzz +

Frenzter + deviantart + Multiply + wikipedia + youtube + aaron's studio + zamzar + failblog + blingees + entertainment + happeepill + mp3 searches + failbook +

+ Thankiezz +

[ Image (c) DeviantArt]
[ Dingbats @ Dafont]
[ Layout designed by fern*]

Thursday, February 21, 2008
Picture Me In Your Sunshine

Photography:

its personal to me,a way of expressing myself sometimes
of how i view the world or things around me...
its how i share my thoughts.

yesterday i think i was a bit mad...sad and mad...smad you could say
i'm sure i've said before, a lot of my friends are aware of my interest
in photography.
alot have encouraged me...some even trusted my skills by appointing me
with the duty of being their photographer for their supposedly big events
(eg, weddings,ROMs,engagements)
imagine how that would feel like.
you, as a photographer, being thrust upon a big responsibilty (so i thought)
of portraying their love for each other.
in that one event, i'm supposed to compiled pictures that would one day
when they look back at the photgraphs and think "wow! wasnt it a beautiful event?"
"dont we look soo in love, its almost sickening?"
i know my skills arent that great... super di duper amateur
but it was that thought that makes me feel important somehow...

imagine..(again) if u were to found out every single couple you've taken picture of
have either cheated on their spouses before or totally broken up.
of the 3 i've taken of 2 broken up their engagement.
maybe its juz me...
a mere coincidence that only makes sense to me...
so typical of human beings
to make up these coincidences and then rationalising it

the last blow wasnt surprising but it was finalising that hurts
i'm sure rina think i'm smad to cry over people's lovelife
coz its not like i was the one that caused it
but i felt involved somehow, u know?
when its in the drama tv, its ok, normal perhaps,
but when its so close to ur circle, u just feel... involved
even though u're totally not...its like seeing statistic at werk...
or statistic in reality.

since when engagement arent important?
since when engagement are nothing but a compromised decision to stick 2gether
til that holy matrimony? and then to break it up?
if they were that important why carry it on at all in the first place?
why do people always change their minds?
always falling in love so easily and then succumbing to that fatal attraction?
is it right?
and why is it so typical of humans to look down on people who makes
other decisions?
is it wrong to love someone else? is it wrong to change ur mind?
its love we're taking about...
and marriage... its a big thing, and yet its not too
coz marriage is just a certificate that binds you to another person.
if u love someone else when u're oredy in a marriage,
would you break the marriage or stick?
would you choose love or duty?
if u choose duty, u're sacrificing love over duty.
so whats a marriage without love?
and where's the effort of making it work?
if u choose love, how would u know its not infatuation?

infidelity
why does it sound so wrong, yet when u're in that position
it seems normal?
coz after all love conquers all, right?

this juz me, rationalising others thoughts and i know i could be wrong
but i cant help it.
infidelity is not common...
most of my friends' marriages last
but currently a lot of my friends (those of younger generation)
doesnt. and its scary.
our freedom of taboo has allowed us to act on our fickleness...
its the new century! we dun nid to ans to anyone.

so here i am...in my most controversial topic yet...
coz a lot of people have thoughts on this and theirs might be different
and maybe its wrong of me to write this coz after all
i've never been infidel
i've never been in a bind
so who am i to write all this?
what gives me the right to think i could rationalise all these
when i've never been in a marriage...

and yet again, i have to explain myself.....
i cant help it...

Sunday, February 17, 2008
punggol marina pt 2.0

editted version of my punggol marina.. did it a few min ago... as u can see in my uninspiring werks.. hehe... such a rushed werk



punggol marina

yet another joyride of ours
ever since we've got the car
me and vincent would always explore the roads less travelled
he would be the explorer and i would be the one taking pictures
awesome, aint it!


yesterday we went to punggol marina (or sth like dat.. apparently, the road is still unnamed...

leaving the city and in2 the country



feel the wind oredy?



lalang...english dunno wats its called haha




lookie dat! a bridge! we're gonna cross the bridge! with this car!! and vinny dear assures me lorries uses this all da time, so its perfectly safe... of course...



wat a sight



i could have died in that ditch, people!



my ever so chubby dear!



this lead to the sea apparently... and what u're seeing is land reclaiming at werk



a place for people for fishing too! one day we're gonna picnic here, as promised by dear.



a picture taken by dear... insisting that the sand is actually super soft...



country sight



bug... so blurry coz i didnt have the macro lenses.... so sad



flowers...



blowable flowers...u know... the ones u blow and all the seeds fly all over? yeah that one... haha



dead and looking good



its a place where people dump sofas too... this was the second one we saw and at the end of the dae we saw a total of four sets!



if u dare to sit on it,it has a gud view... hee haa



gg back time...



as a child do u ever look at the clouds and see some familiar objects somehow? even now? i look at this clouds and somehow it looks like a fat man playing with his dog... did u see it?



dear really love this crossroad...



lalang hurts... makes my legs all itchy...



dear's car



see that flat peeking out from the trees? awesome, huh?



lalang



u see da penguin and da octopus? flying.. wee



flying kite dae!! wowie!




thats all folks, till next tyme!

Thursday, February 14, 2008
random notes

came across this webbie whereby they'd match ur photos with your celebrity look-a-likes. i've tried 3 times with 3 different pictures and oh my, am i truly disappointed! i cant look this gud!! haha! no, seriously, i'm ugly, people... pls, i'm sure there are celebrities out there who look a little like me!! the results look nothing like me, i tell you! its impossible! i'm compared to these hot babes? oh no!! i've have enuf of people pitying my looks, this is an outright insult! why do other people who've tried this really look like their supposed celebrities? where did my pictures go wrong??






and here's da random videos i found on youtube...
this time, its backstreet boys themed.
corny as it may sound, i'm still in love with them, despite all these years
its so weird, growing up with them (kinda).
yes, my music tastes has change but they really opened up my life
they made me love singing, dancing,reading...
cant believe they were a major influence...
they were 2gether for more than 10 years... 15 years now, i think
maybe thats why they're still strong up til now

enuf of ramblings, lets start laughing!!!





this was in 1993 i believe...







the song to treat me right & panic... these songs never (never, i tell you, never!!) fails to make my body sway (no kidding! i'm immune to strange stares from the public oredy!!) one of the reasons to get your unbreakable cd now..now...now!!!

hope they'd mae ur dae somehow.... :D hee

tats all folks!

Sunday, February 03, 2008

these pictures were ages ago...on my bdae, to be exact, haha!i was werking on that special dae..(yeah i noe... it sucks!) dear was super sweet in bringing me the cake, happy meal and a bouquet of flowers. he presented it to me on my break.. hehe!i had to go out of my company to the nearest void deck and sat on one of the empty seats... we ate contentedly (if there's such a word!).despite the given 1 hour break, i think it was well worth every second.

he didnt buy me any presents (i dun expect anything but his love) much to almost everyone's (!!... coz i wasnt) disappointment. but he did gave me a hp much later.it was LG cheap basic phone with no cam or video. just a FM radio.it was enough fer me. its the thoughts that counts remember...altho i did lamented to him that i had wanted a cam function too.oh well...








this trailer rocks!



i am soo anticipating this movie. cant wait for it to be released in singapore... the song 'low' by t-pain is really driving me crazy...i've been getting strange stares from my colleagues for prancig around like an idiot...

and here's another take to the song low by t-pain.... danced by the teletubbies!
i tot it was cute! haha!i mite try some of the moves myself, if they ever play this in the clubs... aha!



and lastly...



this is a video of a jap guy trying to pronounce some of the english words. its a game. a group of people were made to watch the video and not laugh. coz if they do, they'd be spanked on the butt, no less!it was amusing to me, but i realised people with bad english would not find this funny at all... :(

the one song that has be on a repeat in my ipod is bleeding love by leona lewis.
its her voice and those words 'but i dun care what they say...i'm in love with you'
that really pulled me to an abyss of melancholy.i am not heartbroken being with vincent.if anything, he made me feel like i haf a reason to be alive.its the people sourrounding me (esp those old "wise" ones) that keeps on pushing me to break up with him (and that sentence would usually inc words like 'no future', 'chinese' and 'islamic laws'...plus other depressing words i shall not get in to) the funny thing is my family has absolutely no prob with that (most prolly coz they know i wont convert or anything) its those others.nonetheless, i'm enjoying my life.with him.and they wont bring me down...

coz, i dun care what they say... i'm in love with you