termites! yikes! and they were a new colony... and i happen to wipe
them out clean.... so much for building a nest there! :P
dear was kind enuf to clean out my stuff...
good riddance to dead corpses.... argh!!!!!
yes... finally haf to stop putting off da dye-ing hair idea
why not brown red or blondish you ask...
i wanna gif off this wise (haha!!) vibes around me...
y'know.... i wanna look wisely cool...
sth along the lines of gandalf the white.. yeah!
lol.... :P i'm stupid, i know
but who cares! i've got dear... no one else to
impress but me and him.
maybe not as early but yeah...
and the overseas trip has yet to materialise too...
~sigh... so many things to look forward to.. ~sigh...
haha... ok, nvm.. now, i'll just hafta wallow
in my sickness... the corruption of my body
....
1.Ever been given a ring?
- vincent gave me one... my mom bought me one...my grandma got me one
2. Longest relationship?
-- still on-going.. 3 yrs plus!! yay
3. Last gift you received?
--was a crystal thingy of a mosque and Allah's name... given by dear
4. How many times have you dropped your cell?
-- oh gosh... so many times..
5. Last sport you played?
-- badminton
6. Things you spend a lot of money on?
-- accessories clothes vcds oh and food... mostly on food i think
7. Three things you ate last?
-- chocolate snack to break fast.chicken teriyaki
set meal fer dinner and burger fer sahur.
8. First thing you notice about the opposite sex?
-- smile and face
9. One favourite song?
-- right here waiting
10. Where do you live?
-- north
11. Last relationship?
-- before this?? was a disaster ,yes...
12. Cell phone service provider?
-- singtel
13. Favorite mall store?
--perhaps trendy zone @ bugis... and the far east tho i rarely hang out there... :P
14. Longest job held?
-- my current one..
15. Do you own a pair of dice?
-- yea... hahah... dear bought it for me... we love owning quirky stuff...
16. Do you prank call people?
-- nah... but there was a few times i'd pick up my calls w/ "hello singapore casket services" haha! and a few "hi! pizza hut deliveries, may i take your order pls??!"
17. Last person who text messaged you?
--bebe
18. First FRIEND you'd call if you won a lottery?
-- i dun join in da 1st place.... :P
19. Last time you attended mosque?
-- oh gosh!! ahhh.... God knows ahahah...
20. Favourite fast food restaurant?
-- MacD kfc
21. Last incoming call?
-- dear
22. Last time you got drunk?
-- hmmm.. never...
23. Where's your favourite place to eat with friends?
-- fast food...
24. Can you cook?
-- mostly fried ones....
25. What car do you drive?
-- go-kart?? and the ones dominating the arcades... hahah
27. Last time you cried?
-- was a few days ago....aaahhh the ant farm!
28. Most hated food?
-- those bloody smelly ones.. excluding durians lar
29. A thing you like most about yourself?
-- my fickle mind...coz then i dun brood over matters much...
30. Things you hate most about yourself?
-- too many to name
31. Last time you had an argument?
-- cant remember
33. Favorite Movie?
-- pirates yes...
34. Name all the races of the people that you've
been with?
-- meaning races i've hangout w/? why keep da scores? so dat u can proclaim to ppl dat u're not racist? why then talk abt race in da 1st place? i hangout w/ ppl...i dun care abt race.
35. Last movie rented?
-- i dun rent. i buy. originals.....
36. Favourite perfume(s)?
-- true star n secret wish.... mostly bcoz i used to use them hahah...
37. What are you thinking of at the moment?
-- yesterdae morn my lil sis was askin me "dad's down w/ sore throat and flu.. mom's gonna have fever and i'm already having the sinus virus.... how come u're not sick?? " so i said "thats my luck" she nudges me and replied " not fair.... i must contact contact you then u will get sick!!! hahah"
well.... wat kind of voodoo game she played oso i dunno coz now i'm finally
sick!!! aaahh.....
Thursday, October 19, 2006
a hope
currently reading sylvia plath's journals
ooh... sneaky!! haha
but i think she's inspiring...
i mean.. it made her so vulnerable...
full of failures (rejections!) depressions
wow.... made me wonder why i am such a coward
even a great poet like her was rejected
thousands of times...
in a festive season like this
i shud be busy w/ preparations
or even, already prepared my stuff.. aahhhh
we're days away and i havent even
bought a decent baju kebaya
neither shoes nor bag!! argh....
i've fallen behind w/ da time...
and my room!its atrocious!!!
can a girls' room be as disgusting as mine??
aahhh.... panic panic!
and festive cleaning in my room
has caused a recent discovery
of ants farm... yes!!!
in my room!!!...
even worst... in a box of treasures i kept...
that contains all of the things dear gave me
through our 3 yrs plus 2gether...
i cried like a baby.. :P
i mean i haf this phobia of ants and
i cant save it coz i dun dare to touch it
i dun understand.... i dun keep any food inside it
why would the ants made a nest out of it...
aahhh... the thought of it is disgusting..
like a nightmare realised...
its sad so sad...its a sad sad situation...
a colleague one time saw me
writin poetry...
and he suggested me to compose song lyrics fer his band
whether or not it was out of politeness
i was still touched... honoured...
hey!! someone invited me to compose a song!!!
someone trusted my poetry...
despite havent reading any of my piece yet(!!!)
ahahha....
it feels gud.... haaha :P
which then drove me to find all my old poetry book
i think i've lost it (argh!)
and i chanced upon lots of journals
that i wrote throughout my journeys of life
funny how childish immature i was then and still now
i read my entries of the few mths i was just w/ dear
interesting how in love i was w/ him and still now
it doesnt feel like 3 years...
sometimes it feels like just a few days...
this feeling so strong, like no other.
i love you, dear....
Monday, October 16, 2006
begin the frailty
the frailty of my dispassionate mind
is getting a little too old sometimes
I'm sick of this
thinking so much
yet none actualized
feeding my brain with something so petty
unimportant ramblings
they are all fragments
some so dense. so pure, full of depth
other are just floating
drifting like the clouds in the sky
on a lazy sunday evening
they cross each other sometimes
and often, broke into conversations
usually, it ends with a sour note
so thats when confusion and headaches
steps in
introduced to my body of uncertainty
slowly, eventually
i will crumble
my fragments will topple over like bowling pins
leaving it disarrayed
i will be useless...
i think its beginning
...
Thursday, October 12, 2006
sesuci lebaran
a deep sense of melancholy
sets in
as songs of the festive season
rang in the air
it sounds beautifully haunting
faintly reminiscing my childhood atmosphere
weird.
it has this hollow emptiness sensation
i've yet to understand
sadness
as if my heart was disappearing to oblivion
why sad?
its a festive season after all rite?
maybe its not sadness
none of the negative thoughts...
maybe i'm confusing it w/ sth else
that i have not expressed before?
hmm... what could it be?
nostalgia??
blurry scratchy silent
films
running thru your mind
in sepia tone
oh how lovely it is.
selamat hari raya
to all my muslim friends
one month we had endured...
exercising our self-control
from indulging
physically mentally and psychologically
and we made it! yay!
i'm 21 now
suddenly i have this deep sentimental appreciation
for raya...
its a day... to celebrate the victory of mind and soul over matter
to those that made the most of it benefited most
for those who didnt... well... too bad then...
aah... i'm crying... hahah....
wow.... i've nvr been one to be soo emotional...
am i maturing/?? lol.... strange!
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
you sto..oo..d in my doooorwayyy....
oh, how agonizing it is
to own such a fickle mind.
one moment i was lamenting
exaggeratingly recounted my dastardly life
and next i was jubilant
leaping high, skipping thru da pathway
oblivious to the strange stares
i was attracting
for a while
i would cry
it would seem the world was
crashing down on my head
i felt cursed
and then when its over.
i'd go "hey! lets go shopping!"
put on some make up
try a new hairdo
am i crapping?
or was it really me inside?
was i trying to be depressed?
or did the world crashed
on me for a while?
when i wear black
was it wat my heart wanted
or was it for other's belief?
if all my emotions,thoughts
actions were true and sincere
why then the term 'poser' exist?)
i was never called one (at least not dat i noe of)
but i wouldn't be surprised if i was judged wrongly so
at first glance
you wear wat you feel
so would you dare to wear sth
u're uncomfortable with?
then why da term poser?
maybe u haf a crazy style...
maybe u're just crazy.
if u hate to wear metal chains as accessories
would u accessorize urself w/ metal chains?
it doesnt make sense
so why do we always find ways to
hurt each other's pride??
